


Final Flight

by SeekHim



Series: A New Start [9]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Kirk on a different ship, Soul Bond, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 21,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6476878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeekHim/pseuds/SeekHim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James T Kirk embarks on the final journey of the USS Saratoga. AU.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Captain's Log

**Author's Note:**

> Those of you who have read Neferit's works may have come across her 'This is the End' trilogy. In it Kirk is raped during shore leave. Instead of supporting him his crew, with the exception of Dr. McCoy, assumes that he was just fooling around . This betrayal added to the trauma of being raped leads Kirk to step down as Captain of the Enterprise. Months later he accepts command of a different ship, the U.S.S. Saratoga. This series is my take on Kirk accepting his new command. I've written it with Neferit's kind permission.
> 
> If you like it PLEASE leave feedback! I live for it!

_Captain's Log_   
_Stardate 2265. 6.2_

_The crew has had a lot to celebrate lately, both professionally and personally._

_Yesterday I had the honor of marrying Crewmen Dalin and  Monica O'Gill. Three months ago, my old_   
_friend/rival, Crewman Ingrid Thorson and her husband John Nordstrom welcomed little Eric in to the world._   
_The sixth child born under my command._

_Among everyone there's a tremendous sense of both pride and accomplishment: we've nearly completed_   
_our historic Five Year Survey, becoming one of the few ships to completely circumnavigate the Federation._   
_During that voyage we've seen, discovered and learned far more than I ever imagined possible._

_Not only that, six months ago, we made additional history by becoming the only Delphis class ship to_   
_go into completely unknown space. We started out along the general route the USS Aurora took when_   
_she set out on her Five Year Mission last year. Then we veered off in a slightly different direction._   
_We were ordered not to go far and to turn back at the first hint of trouble. Even though we were only_   
_out there for two months it was still further than any ship has ever gone, aside from the Valiant and_   
_the Aurora._

_While out in unexplored space we discovered and mapped the Delphis and Votrel sectors, discovered_   
_the unique lifeforms on Miri and made First Contact with the Aulites. The benefits of relations with_   
_the Aulites will be incalculable for the Federation._

_I can't help but grin at the thought- Starfleet has now sent out three missions into unexplored space:_   
_The Five Year Missions of the USS Valiant and USS Aurora and the Two Month Mission of the USS Saratoga._   
_I wonder how that will look in the annals of Federation history!_

_Even after we returned to Federation territory, we continued to make incredible discoveries: our planetary_   
_studies in the Zori System, the proto-star in the Quani System and charting the incredible Mariss Nebula._

_Yes, these past six months have been rewarding, albeit tiring, and everyone's looking forward to heading_   
_to Earth for a well earned break (or in the newlyweds case, to Risa for their honeymoon.) Everyone's tired_   
_but proud and I don't think there's ever been a Captain as proud of his crew as me._

_Going back to Earth will be bittersweet though; this will be the final flight of the Saratoga. As stalwart_   
_as she is, she's twenty-five years old and the powers that be have decided to put her out to pasture._   
_Following our survey she's going to be decommissioned._

_But I'll worry about that later. Right now I intend to concentrate on my last mission with the ship that has_   
_been my home for over six years. Tomorrow, we'll be docking at Deep Space Station K-11 to offload our data_   
_and to pick up some passengers. And then the Saratoga will have one last task to perform before heading home._

_James T. Kirk._


	2. Starbase

_6/3/2265_  
Saratoga Bridge  
2:14 PM

Kirk gazed thoughtfully out the viewscreen at the approaching space station. Deep Space Station K-11 was one  
of the most remote Federation Starbases in this area of the quadrant. The _USS Aurora_ had docked there as her  
crew made final preparations for their Five Year Mission into uncharted space. It had been the last chance for  
crewmembers to contact home before they were out of reach of all subspace relays.

 _And this will be the last Starbase the Saratoga docks at in deep space_ , he thought. _The next time we dock it will  
be at Earth Spacedock. And then_ …

He recalled a fateful docking at another Starbase last year.

The entire crew had been flushed from a productive mission. A month before they had been charting a stellar  
nursery that the Constitution class, _USS Cairo_ had discovered during a deep space survey. As science vessels,  
_Delphis_ class ships had the most finely tuned sensor arrays in the Fleet. Engineering had recently made  
enhancements to the _Saratoga's_ and during the mission they detected unusual bio-energy readings that the  
larger ship had missed.

Since they were ahead of schedule they had decided to take a look and in the process had hit a mother-lode;  
an incredible new planet which they had dubbed _Larisel_ (Life Glow) and had spent an entire month studying.  
No one had been more pleased than Kirk; he loved to prove that his small ship could make big discoveries.  
(And occasionally beat bigger ships to them.)

After leaving Larisel the _Saratoga_ had been ordered to Starbase 7, for a routine maintenance check and for Kirk  
to attend a meeting with Admiral Pike. Kirk had wanted to see the important Starbase for a long time. It was  
the official headquarters of both the Seventh Fleet and Starfleet Intelligence, as well as home to a Federation  
Embassy. He'd known there's be no shortage of things for his crew to see and do while they were there.

But he'd been apprehensive. Although he always enjoyed the opportunity to see his mentor, he'd had a feeling  
that the meeting was not just to catch up. Especially when Pike had informed him that his old 'friend' Admiral  
Jones would be there too.

* * *

_*Flashback*_

_9/3/2264  
Starbase 7_  
_Conference Room_

_"Jim, when the Constitution class was first designed Starfleet put in an order for twelve originals," Pike explained._   
_"The 'Glorious Dozen' they called them. The crowing achievements of Starfleet design that would carry the Fleet_   
_into the future. The long term plan was for half of them to serve in defensive and diplomatic capacity and the other_   
_half for deep space exploration._

_"The USS Constitution, the Potemkin, the Cairo, the Triumph and the Excalibur have served in the first area._   
_The Enterprise was originally intended to be at the forefront of the exploration area, but ever since the Enterprise_   
_Incident, she's been consigned mostly to patrol. Since 2260 we've been working on more exploration models,_   
_such as the Valiant and the Aurora. The USS Ares is scheduled to launch this year and the Venture in three._

_"We've also been working on a new class of ship altogether, the Endeavor class. Some say that we started planning_   
_the Constitution after Nero's first visit and the Endeavor after his second. Its based on all the lessons we've learned_   
_from the Constitution class along with new developments that we've made since. Starfleet has a lot invested in this_   
_class and many feel that she'll surpass the Constitution. Its prototype, the USS Endeavor is scheduled to launch next_   
_year."_

_Pike paused. "When she's launched, Starfleet wants you in command."_

_Kirk was silent for a long moment. "I already have a ship, Admiral."_

_"Not for much longer," Pike said quietly. "Following her survey the Saratoga will be decommissioned."_

_Kirk's eyes widened "Admiral…"_

_Admiral Jones cut in. "Kirk, the Saratoga is almost twenty-five years old. Starfleet feels that her day is over and that_  
_your talents are best served elsewhere."_

 _Kirk turned toward him. He had learned that the best way to deal with Jones was a direct frontal assault. "_ _**Starfleet,** _  
_Admiral? Don't you mean that_ _**you** _ _think that my talents are best served elsewhere?"_

 _Jones nodded. "You're right. I've thought that from Day One and I've made no secret of it. Pike has always said that_  
_you're one of our best and brightest and I agree wholeheartedly. You've done a lot of good with the Saratoga, Kirk._  
_I admit that. And her class has turned out to be a lot more valuable than many thought, including me. But I and many_  
_others believe that you will do far more good for the Federation on the bridge of another ship."_

_Pike spoke again. "Jim, when you were first assigned to the Saratoga, Starfleet never intended for it to be permanent._   
_We thought that it would be an interim assignment; that you'd be on her for a year or two at the most. She helped_   
_you to heal. But it's time for you to move on. You should be out in deep space exploring uncharted territory, not_   
_studying astronomical phenomena."_

_Kirk rounded on him angrily. "Admiral, you know perfectly well that that is_ _**not** _ _all that the Saratoga has been doing!_  
_Over the past five years…!"_

 _Pike cut him off. "Over the past five years the Saratoga has accomplished incredible things that no one would have_  
_imagined a Delphis class ship ever doing. She's made history and she's helped her class get the respect it deserved._  
_Before you came along Delphis class ships were little more than a joke in the minds of many. You and the other_  
_members of the Delphis Pod have raised theim to become the premier science vessels of Starfleet. You're right,  
the Saratoga has been doing _ a **lot** _more than studying astronomical phenomena._

 _"But she's getting old, Jim. She was getting old when she was hit with those Quantum Filaments two years ago._  
_Yes, she recovered, but it took a heavy toll on her. I've spoken to Commander Filars and even she admits that  
every year since the accident the Saratoga has needed more and more work to stay in good condition._

 _"In the wake of Nero, Starfleet has demanded that all of its ships be in prime condition. Both the USS Constitution_  
_and the Potemkin are going to be space-docked for the next few years, undergoing a major refit. They're practically  
going to gut them both from the inside out and they were once _ _**Flagships** _ _with advancements that the Saratoga  
lacked. And the Potemkin is _ _**younger** _ _than the Saratoga."_

 _Pike took a deep breath. "But putting the condition of the Saratoga aside for the moment, the simple fact is that_  
_she's a science vessel, not an explorer. I know that you've been keeping close tabs on the Five Year Program and_  
 _you and I both know that you want to be out there too._

 _"A Delphis class ship can't do that; they were designed for short term research missions and can only go for a year_  
_at the most before needing to refuel. Before you came along the longest they were usually out was six months.  
You've proven that they can go into unexplored space for a few months. But longer then that? Into completely  
unknown territory for_ _**five years** _ _without_ _**any** _ _help or contact? No._ _**This** _ _ship however can."_

 _Pike reached out to flip a switch and the holo of a ship flickered to life. As it rotated in front of him Kirk noted  
that it was was slightly larger than the Enterprise, as well as more sleek in appearance and possessing obvious  
advancements. It looked _ _**very** _ _impressive._

 _"Check out her specs," Pike encouraged him, handing him a data padd. "She's 800 meters long and will have_  
_a crew complement of over 1200. She has new weaponry that we've been working on since Nero's visit and_  
 _the most technologically advanced equipment available in the Fleet. In regards to science, her labs are larger_  
 _than the Enterprise's."_

 _Kirk was silent as he gazed at the PADD. The Saratoga had been his ship for six years. She was a true member_  
_of the Delphis class: a courageous, cunning dolphin. A tiny vessel with the heart of a Flagship._

 _But everything Pike was saying was true. She_ _**was** _ _getting old. And when he had ventured into unknown space_  
_it had seemed so…right._

 _"Jim we both know that you want to go into unexplored space," Pike said gently. "You won't be able to do that_  
_with the Saratoga, but you can with the Endeavor."_

 _He continued. "And as for your crew, they can come with you. Any Saratoga crewmember that wants to transfer_  
_with you will get it without question. As loyal as they are to you we both know that nearly all of them will."_

_Kirk remained silent. Despite all of this he was still reluctant. The Saratoga had helped put him back together.  
The idea of her being scrapped tore at his heart._

_Pike seemed to sense this. "And don't worry about the Saratoga, she's not going to be scrapped. She's currently_  
_the oldest surviving member of her class; one of the original Three Musketeers. She's also one of the few ships_  
_to completely circumnavigate the Federation, not to mention the third starship to go into unexplored space and_  
 _the first to return. There's no way that she's going to be turned into scrap metal. They're going to put her in_  
 _the Fleet Museum, right along with the Enterprise NX."_

_*End Flashback*_

* * *

_Saratoga Bridge  
2:20 PM_

Kirk sighed and forced his mind back to the present. "M'Ress, please inform Control that we're ready to begin  
docking maneuvers."

"Aye, Captain," the Caitian replied.

* * *

_Bridge of the Daqtagh  
3:40 PM_

"Commander!"

Kor, son of Rynar looked up from his musings. "What is it T'nog?"

"Sir, we've just received a message from one of our spies. Captain Kirk has just docked at Station K-11."

Kor's eyebrows rose with interest. "Kirk? The famous James T. Kirk? The Golden Boy of Starfleet?"

"Yes, sir."

"Who gave you this information?"

"Slor Bornel. Apparently he was on the station with Kirk's ship arrived."

Kor's frowned in disgust. Bornel was a small time trader who worked on the fringes of Federation territory.  
He was also an occasional smuggler who had, from time to time, given information to the Klingons.  
Never anything major however.

Until now.

"Get back on the line with that little _peta'q_ and make sure he's telling the truth. If he is…see if he can find  
out where Kirk will be heading next."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daqtagh= A traditional Klingon warrior's knife  
> Peta'q = A Klingon insult


	3. Family Dinner

_Alyen and L'Naym's Quarters_  
_5:15 PM_

"Uncle Jim!"

Kirk grinned as the three year old hurled himself forward to wrap his arms around his waist. "Hey little man!  
How ya doing?" He lifted Jay'veen into the air and tossed him, causing the child to giggle.

"Jim," L'Naym called from where she was busy at the table. "Come in, I was just finishing up. Tuskaro's changing  
Valonee. Mayberry will be here any minute to pick her and her brother up."

"Take your time," Jim grinned. "Because this little tiger and I are going to have some fun!" He once again tossed  
Jay'veen and then proceeded to tickle him causing the child to shriek with delight. Jay'veen was a confident,  
little boy who was happiest when active and his doting Uncle Jim was nearly always happy to oblige.

Alyen came out of the bedroom carrying Valonee. She looked around with wide, curious eyes and when they fell  
on her foster uncle they brightened and a broad smile spread across her small face.

Kirk smiled and made his way over to her, while carrying Jay'veen. "Hey, Princess."

"Jeeem!" she chortled. At ten months old she was a happy, sweet natured child and very attached to her Uncle Jim.

Abruptly seized by a burst of melancholy, Kirk gave her a kiss on the forehead and then hugged Jay'veen tightly.

Moments like these were priceless to him. And over the past several months they had become even more so…  
because he'd known that they were running out.

The _U.S.S. Endeavor_ wasn't a family ship. It would take him into unexplored space, but his Soul Siblings and his  
foster niece and nephew couldn't go with him.

* * *

5:48 PM

"Great as always, sis," Kirk said as he ate. Over the years his regular dinners with his Soul Siblings had become  
a priceless ritual. Sometimes he ate with the entire family, other times, as now, it was just the three of them.

"I made sure to prepare one of your favorites," L'Naym said. "I've been able to tell for the past couple of days  
that you've a lot on your mind.

"I guess I keep thinking about how its nearly over," Kirk said softly. "The _Saratoga_ decommissioned. Everything's  
changing."

"The only constant in life is change," Alyen said quietly.

For a few moments Kirk stared silently out the window. "Pike was right," he said finally. "I _do_ belong out here  
in deep space. When we were out in the Delphis and Votrel sectors… it felt right. It's where I want to be.  
Where I'm _meant_ to be. Out in unexplored space, boldly going where no one has gone before."

He looked at the Nlians with sorrow. "But you guys won't be able to come with me."

"Jim, we're a married couple with two small children," L'Naym whispered. "Unless we're assigned to another  
_Delphis_ class ship, we'll almost certainly be sent to an outpost." She paused. "And that would be all right  
with us."

"When we first lifemated all we wanted was to be out here traveling the stars," Alyen put in. "And we have.  
For six incredible years. But now…now if we spent the rest of our careers in one place it would be all right.  
In fact the idea of having a sky over our head and seeing the same sunrise every morning has an appeal.

"You're both settling down and ready to put down roots," Kirk said with a gentle smile. "Nothing wrong with  
that."

"Not everything has changed," Alyen said thoughtfully. "We've always been like this to an extent. Six years  
ago if you had still been on the _Enterprise_ and we on it as well, we would have been honored to go on a  
Five Year mission. But deep down we would have gotten homesick. All our lives we dreamed of visiting space.  
But we wouldn't have wanted to go five years without seeing our families."

A rueful look came over his face. "Not that we _would_ have been on the _Enterprise_. They only took the brightest  
and the best and neither of us were in that category."

"You two _are_ the best," Kirk said firmly.

"I don't think Starfleet would have seen it that way back then," L'Naym said. "We didn't graduate top of our  
class with the highest scores. People who do are the only ones they'll consider for Flagships." She chuckled.   
"The only way they would have let either of us on board the _Enterprise_ would have been if they'd needed   
extra crewmembers to 'swab the deck,' I think the Human saying is."

Kirk was frowning. "If they hadn't taken you it would have been their loss. And if swabbing the deck had been  
all they'd thought you were good for then…"

L'Naym turned serious as well. "Even if by some miracle we _had_ been assigned to the _Enterprise_ , we wouldn't  
have been the friends we are now. With a crew of over a thousand, I doubt that we would have ever crossed  
paths. And if we had, we would have been just two more faces in the corridors. Two more nameless Crewmen."

"What about giving me an Esteem Gift and inviting me to share a meal with you?" Kirk asked. "Nlian tradition,  
remember?"

L'Naym exchanged a look with her lifemate before continuing. "When you came to the _Saratoga,_ everyone, including  
us, knew what had happened to you. How hurt you were. We both felt led to invite you to share a meal with us.  
We felt that there might be a chance you'd accept. We both had a feeling…that you needed us."

"I _did_ need you." Kirk whispered.

"If the _Incident_ hadn't happened, you would have been on the _Enterprise_ for nearly a year by the time   
we'd completed our training," Alyen said. "Your soul wouldn't have been injured and by then you would   
have formed strong bonds with your crew. You wouldn't have needed us at all. We would have met with   
you in your Ready Room and presented your Esteem Gift. Then we would have left and that would have   
been the end of it. Within a week you would probably have forgotten all about us."

"I _wouldn't_ have forgotten you," Kirk said firmly. "Even if we hadn't become friends, something about you   
both would have stuck out. I know it."

He was silent for a minute. "But I didn't stay on the _Enterprise_. And I'm glad I didn't. Because the two of you,   
this ship and every single person on it, are the best things that have ever happened to me."

Wordlessly he reached out to his Soul Siblings and wordlessly they each took his hand.

_Three souls touched._

_*You are Jim and you are ours.*_

_*You are Shylea and Tuskaro. You are one and you are mine.*_

* * *

_6/4/2265  
_ _Bridge of the Daqtagh  
_ _3:58 AM_

"Commander," T'nog reported. "Bornel has just reported back. He says that the _Saratoga_ will be leaving  
K-12 later today and traveling by the Alurne Cluster."

"The Alurne Cluster," Kor murmured. A slow grin spread over his face. "Which happens to be near our borders."

"Commander," T'norg cautioned; "that cluster is well on the Federation side of the border. And we haven't  
been given orders to attack a Starfleet vessel."

"Are you questioning me?" Kor asked sharply.

"No, Commander," T'nog answered quickly.

"Good. Then I'd say that this will be the perfect opportunity to test the Empire's newest battle cruiser."


	4. Teacher and Student

_6/5/2265_  
Saratoga Gym  
6:30 PM

The two men bowed to each other. "I have worked with you for six years, Jim-san," Akari said solemnly.  
"You have been a worthy student."

"You have taught me well, _Sensei,"_ Kirk said just as solemnly. "I could have asked for no better teacher."

Akari smiled. "And I'm looking forward to continuing to teach you in the future. We'll see if we can get you  
to truly master the Art of Drawing the Sword."

As the two of them headed to the locker room to change, Kirk reflected on the unique relationship that had  
formed between him and his Chief Helmsman. On duty he was the superior officer and Akari the subordinate.  
But in the gym during their regular _Bottōjutsu_ training sessions, he was the student and Akari the teacher.

 _A very_ _ **demanding**_ _teacher,_ he thought ruefully. _I sometimes didn't think I'd live through it!_

But live through it he had. It generally took ten years to master the forms of Japanese swordsmanship,  
but in the six years he'd trained he'd become quite proficient. Where once he would have felt a fierce  
pride in that fact, he mostly felt a calm inner confidence, combined with a huge amount of gratitude   
to the teacher who had passed on to him such skills.

As they changed, Kirk reflected on something else. "Do you remember when we were at Starbase Gemini?"  
he asked. At Akari's nod he continued. "We talked about how Starfleet was sending out more ships into deep  
space. Five Year Missions and how I wanted to go on one."

Akari smiled. "And so you have, Jim-san. You accomplished your goal and you took the _Saratoga_ into deep space.  
And soon you will have another ship that will take you deeper still."

 _"My crew_ took the _Saratoga_ into deep space," Kirk said firmly. "A Captain is _nothing_ without his or her crew.  
_I_ would have had _nothing_ without my crew beside me." His voice grew intense. "And if I couldn't have taken  
my crew with me I wouldn't have touched the _Endeavor_ with a ten foot pole."

"You will have your crew, Jim-san," Akari said with quiet conviction. "You know that nearly everyone has agreed  
to go with you, except for those with families and one or two others who had made previous plans. "

He met Kirk's eyes. Over the years a deep camaraderie had formed between the Helmsman and Captain, Teacher  
and Student. "And I will be honored to continue to serve at your side."

"And I you, _Sensei,"_ Kirk whispered. "And I you."

* * *

 _Mess Hall_  
_7:15 PM_

As Kirk entered the Mess Hall, he spotted McCoy at one of the tables sipping a coffee and carrying on a  
conversation with Crewman Violet Bailey, who had transferred to the _Saratoga_ last year. A member of the  
Science division, her specialty was sound waves and acoustics. Passionate about languages she had become  
a good friend of M'Ress.

She had originally worked at the Sato Linguistics Institute but had decided to serve on a starship in order  
to gain broader exposure. She hadn't wanted to serve as a civilian, however. No, if she was going to be part  
of Starfleet she'd go all the way! At the age of thirty seven she had joined the training program for Enlisted  
personnel and after completing her training had spent six months at Mars Colony before applying for a starship,  
intending to return to civilian duty after 18 months in space.

Kirk smiled as he noted the admiring look she gave McCoy. Since coming to the _Saratoga_ she had made no secret  
of the fact that she was interested in him.

"Hey, guys. OK if I join you?"

She looked up. "I was just leaving, Captain. I had to talk to McCoy about something."

As she left and Kirk slid into a seat across from his friend, he noticed that the doctor was looking at some sheets  
of paper. "What you got there, Bones?"

McCoy gestured to the papers. "She was showing me some of Robert's latest handiwork."

Like McCoy, Bailey, was a divorcee and she had brought along her son, Robert. The nine year old hadn't been  
keen on leaving Earth and living on a 'space ship' at first. But he had gradually warmed to it because visiting  
other stars and planets provided countless vistas and sights for the aspiring young artist to draw. And draw  
he did at every opportunity. He especially he loved to draw pictures for others and every member of the crew  
had gotten at least one drawing. McCoy had always had a soft spot for kids and had found himself the recipient  
of Robert's generosity on several occasions.

Kirk smiled as he looked at the vivid drawings. "We've got a future Michelangelo with us." He chuckled and gave  
McCoy a sly look. "And if Bailey has her way, a future Mrs. McCoy as well."

McCoy reddened and grumbled. "Come on, Jim. She's a subordinate."

"I know the regulations, Bones. Department Heads aren't allowed to date subordinates _in the same department  
_ as them. You're Medical, she's Science. Not a problem."

"From Tomcat to Matchmaker, huh?"

"What can I say? I'm a romantic at heart."

"Come on, Jim, she's not even going to be on this ship for much longer."

The lighthearted mood died. "None of us will, Bones. We're all going to leave this ship soon."

"And what makes you think I'm going to stick with you?" McCoy grumbled. "You plan to go deeper into the black  
than before. Maybe five years out here's enough for me and I'd rather keep my feet on the ground from now on."

Kirk looked at McCoy steadily. Bones. The first and best friend that he'd ever had. As hard as it would be without  
his Soul Siblings, he knew that he'd never consider going out in the black without Bones at his side. And he knew  
that Bones knew it too.

"It's a gut feeling, Bones."

"Five more years in space. God help me."

* * *

 _War Room of the Daqtagh_  
7:20 PM

"Commander, the _Saratoga_ has arrived at the Alurne Cluster," T'nog reported. "Bornel said that Kirk intended  
to run a standard survey of it. That would seem to be the case because his ship had dropped out of warp and  
is moving at impulse."

T'nog rolled out a map and pointed to a spot on it. "This area of the cluster is the part closest to our border.  
Based on its projected route and speed the _Saratoga_ should be at this location in less than 42 hours."

Kor grinned. "Excellent. Kirk faced the _Nerada,_ it's only fitting that he face the _Daqtagh,_ which has been given  
similar… _enhancements_ , courtesy of Nero's vessel. Starfleet's Golden Boy can be the first to face…how do the  
Humans say it? The 'new and improved' face of Klingon might."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokken A wooden practice sword  
> Iaito A metal practice sword  
> Sensei Teacher or Master
> 
> Battōjutsu/Iaijutsu means the 'Art of Drawing out the Sword.'  
> Its focus is on combat effectiveness, specifically the rapid drawing and sheathing of the sword.  
> It is closely linked with Kenjutsu, which originated with the Samurai.
> 
> 'Kyōshi no gifuto' is Japanese for 'Teacher's Gift'
> 
> 'San' is a commonplace honorific in Japan and is a title of respect used between equals.  
> The closest analog in English are the honorifics 'Mr.', 'Miss', 'Ms.', or 'Mrs.'  
> San is added to a person's name and is used both formally and informally and for any gender.


	5. Attack

_Captain's Log_  
_Stardate 2265.6.7_

 _The Saratoga has spent the past two days conducting an astronomical survey of the Alurne Cluster._  
_The area that it's in borders Klingon space so we've been careful to stay well on the Federation's side_  
_of the border. We should be wrapping up sometime tomorrow and then its homeward bound._

_James T. Kirk_

* * *

_Bridge of the Saratoga  
1:05 PM_

"Report from Stellar Sciences, Captain."

Kirk smiled up at Yeoman Michelle Danvers. Although she tended toward quietness, she was eager to please  
and as a long time protégé of Mayberry the Head of Ship's Resources, meticulously organized.

He took the report and looked it over. "According to this, they've nearly completed the survey and they  
estimate that they should be done by 09:40 tomorrow." He handed the report back. "Thank you, Danvers."

"Do I get a thank you too?"

Kirk smiled as he saw his Chief Engineer approaching. "You notified me of that upgrade in Auxiliary two hours  
ago, Filars. Anything new?"

"Nope." She put a hand on his shoulder. "I just came to send you to the Mess Hall. We both know how you  
are about skipping meals and you've been doing that since we got here. Go get something in your system."

He gave her his best puppy dog look. "Come on, Filars."

"Get going, Captain. Before I drag you."

"Yes, Mom."

* * *

 _Bridge of the Daqtagh_  
1:10 PM

"Slow to one quarter impulse."

As the Bird of Prey did so, the viewscreen showed the tiny ship silently moving through the cluster.

"And there she is," Kor breathed. "Ripe for the taking."

One of the other officers snorted. "A ship as small as that will be no threat."

Kor shot him a stern look. "Do _not_ underestimate, Kirk. He's Even with a small ship he has teeth."

"Their shields are down, Commander," another officer reported.

"Of course. A routine survey, well within Federation space. Why would they be expecting any trouble?"

"Our modified cloak is holding well, they haven't detected us."

Kor's grin broadened as he gazed at the screen. "I've heard your ship referred to as a dolphin, Kirk.   
We'll see how your dolphin fares against a bird of prey."

* * *

 _Saratoga Mess Hall_  
1:15 PM

Kirk entered the Mess Hall. Most of the those on lunch break had finished their meals but there were still  
a few people left. In one corner he spotted Dr. Joseph Weber a middle aged civilian entomologist who had  
come to the _Saratoga_ last year. The tidy, fastidious gentleman was enjoying a cup of tea and engaging  
in a conversation with Cadet R'ral. The young Caitian had arrived four days ago with three other cadets.  
They had been on Starbase K-11 for a study program and were now on their way back to Earth.

Dr. Eric Tompkins was by one of the replicators. He was a chemical engineer and his wife, Mrs. Veronica  
Tompkins, an elementary school teacher. She had come to the _Saratoga_ three years ago to assist with  
teaching the ship's children. They had brought their own children with them: Dominique and Jamar,  
now nine and eight.

At another table Kirk noticed the newlyweds, O'Gill and Dalin, and made his way over to them. "Well, well.  
The new Mister and Misses. How's married life so far?"

"Wonderful, Captain," Dalin answered with a smile. "We were just discussing our honeymoon. "I'll be taking  
Monica to Suraya Bay. We'll be just in time to see _Lohlunat_ , the annual Festival of the Moon."

O'Gill smiled. "I've always loved to look at the moon," she said in her soft Irish brogue; "Ever since I was a  
little girl. I suppose that was one of the things that drew me to Starfleet."

Dalin looked lovingly at his new wife. "You'll definitely enjoy Risa then; it has two moons." He reached out  
and took her hand. "Although both of them pale before your beauty."

Kirk grinned and clapped the Risian on the shoulder. "Married a week and you already know exactly the right  
words to say." His smile grew gentle. "And you've found the right person to say them to."

Dalin grinned back and raised an eyebrow. "Jealous, Captain?"

"No. Just happy for you both."

* * *

 _Bridge of the Daqtagh_  
1:25 PM

"Estimating attack range in 8000 kellicams, Commander."

Kor turned toward his gunnery officer. "The moment we de-cloak open fire. And remember…" he scowled  
fiercely to emphasize the warning, "I want that ship _crippled,_ _not_ destroyed. Use moderate disrupters.  
Hit _only_ the prescribed targets."

"The _Saratoga's_ equipped with shuttles. What should we do to any who try to escape?"

Kor's grin had returned. "Kirk will never flee, he'll remain onboard to fight like the warrior he is.  
The others are of no consequence. Fire on any shuttles that try to escape. Kirk can watch as we blast  
his crew out of the stars. Prepare to de-cloak on my signal."

* * *

 _Saratoga Bridge_  
1:30 PM

"Commander!" Akari called urgently. "Unknown vessel, bearing 105, Mark two!"

"Shields up!" Thelin shouted: "Go to Red…!"

The Klingons opened fire.


	6. Hello James, I'm Kor

_Medical Bay_  
_1:30 PM_

The blast hurled everyone to the floor.

" _Red Alert!"_ M'Ress' voice blared over the Comm. _"This is not a drill! Red Alert! Captain to the Bridge!"_

Alyen pulled himself back up. "Doctor!" he reached out to the sprawling CMO. "Doctor, are you alright?"

McCoy shoved his hand way. "I'm fine, dammit!"

A second blast shook the ship.

* * *

_Corridors_

Kirk raced through the corridors of the _Saratoga._

 _His ship.  
__Someone had attacked his ship._  
_His crew was in danger._

 _The Bridge.  
He had to get back to the Bridge_.

Behind him there was a third blast. It sounded like it had hit the Mess Hall. How many had still been in there?  
Had they gotten out?

He couldn't go back to check. He had to get to the Bridge.

* * *

_Arboretum_

L'Naym picked herself off the ground. She and Mrs. Tompkins had been conducting a gardening project  
with several of the ship's children when the first blast hit.

 _"Jamar!"_ the Human woman's panicked voice rose above the screaming alarms. _"Dominique!"_

"Mommy!" a terrified little boy rushed over to her and flung himself into her arms.

L'Naym felt slow panic beginning to build within her. _Jay'veen!_ She had brought her son with her!  
Where was he?

The panic dulled only slightly when she saw him across the room with Trisha and Dominique.

At nine years old, Trisha was as iron willed and fearless as she had been when she was three and from   
the moment of Jay'veen's birth, she had appointed herself his big sister and protector. Dominique,  
'Miss Sass and Class', as everyone called her, had formed a close friendship with both of them and the  
three children could always be found near each other.

As she started to make her way toward them, a fourth blast once again sent her sprawling.

* * *

_Corridors  
1:35 PM_

Kirk was only dimly aware of the chaos, screaming alarms, or crewmembers racing alongside him.  
His entire being was focused on one purpose.

 _The Bridge.  
Get to the Bridge_.

Once more he was knocked to the floor.

* * *

_Bridge of the Daqtagh_

Kor grinned madly. "Cease fire. I think we've gotten their attention."

* * *

_Saratoga Bridge  
1:40 PM_

Kirk entered a scene of chaos. "Thelin!" he yelled over the screeching alarms. "Report!"

The Andorian had blood streaming down his face, but as always when facing a crisis, he was calm and focused.  
"An unknown vessel de-cloaked and immediately opened fire on us. Parts of the ship have been identified as  
Klingon, but parts of its design remain unidentified."

Having made it to the Command Chair, Kirk turned to M'Ress. "M'Ress open all channels and frequencies."  
He faced the viewscreen. "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the _USS Saratoga._ You are in Federation space  
and attacking a Starfleet vessel. State your intentions."

Alarms were still screaming, reports pouring through to the Communication console, when M'Ress called out:  
"We've got a visual."

A Klingon's face filled the viewscreen, giving an amused grin. "Hello, James. I'm Kor."

Kirk stiffened, feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. This was just like when Nero had hailed the _Enterprise_.

" _Hi, Christopher I'm Nero."_

Would the result be the same?

"The Empire has heard a great deal about you, Captain," Kor continued. "And about your father. His twelve  
minutes of Captaincy and saving eight hundred lives. You saving Earth…" the look on his face now was of both  
amusement and slight disgust…" and the rather spectacular trial that you were part of."

 _Of course the Klingons would have heard about that,_ Kirk thought. _Everybody and their mother heard about it.  
And of course there are some people who think that anyone who __**lets** themself_ _get raped is weak._

"Well, Mr. Kor," he said calmly; "it's nice to know that you've heard about me – but your intentions remain unclear.  
I would appreciate it if you told me why you attacked my ship."

"Your father was a great man."

Kirk felt the muscles in his face tighten. _Throwing my father in my face again. Old trick is old._

"Nero told us that you were a great man once too."

 _So that was where the Narada was all those years between the Kelvin and Vulcan._ _With the Klingons.  
How nice to know right now._

"And I've also heard stories. I decided to come and see for myself."

Cold fury filled Kirk. Kor had attacked his ship for no reason other than to test himself against a famous  
Starfleet Captain. He had endangered the lives of his crew simply to snatch a little fun and glory.

He forced his anger down.

 _'Save passion for the bedroom not the battlefield.'_   That was a favorite statement of Akari's. ' _In battle both  
your heart and your head must be calm and clear.'_

"I'm positive you'll find that many things remain the same, Kor," he said quietly with an obviously false smile.

"I certainly hope so, Captain." Kor grinned and quit the channel.


	7. General Order 13

_Bridge_  
1:45 PM

Kirk faced his bridge crew, expression grim. "Damage report?"

He grew even grimmer as M'Ress began to recite. The _Saratoga_ had taken heavy damage. Shields and weapons  
were down. Main power was offline. Half the systems were no longer working, the other half was either on  
the edge of system failure or working so-and-so. Nearly every deck reported injuries. (His heart clenched).  
Miraculously, there weren't any reports of casualties. Yet.

 _The Klingon's weapons are powerful_ , he thought. _They obviously picked up a few tricks_ _from studying Nero's  
ship. They could have destroyed us, but they crippled us instead. They didn't demand our surrender either.  
__Kor_ _wants to drag this out and get as much fun as possible. That might buy us some time._

"Are there any other Federation ships in this sector?"

"Yes, sir. But they're a considerable distance. It would take the closest one up to forty minutes to get here."

"That's forty minutes too long. I'm initiating General Order Thirteen, we're evacuating. Put me through  
the intercom, M'Ress."

* * *

 _Medical Bay_  
1:47 PM

McCoy was in the process of checking a visibly dazed Minil when the comm once again blared.

 _"All decks, this is the Captain speaking_. _We've been attacked by a Klingon vessel. As you've noticed,_  
_they stopped firing once they put enough damage on us, but you can bet they're getting ready to_  
 _attack again."_

"No kidding!" McCoy muttered.

 _"We've taken heavy damage; our shields and weapons are down and the rest of our systems are failing._  
_There're other ships in this sector, but it will take time for them to get here. Time that we don't have._

 _"I'm ordering an evacuation and will be sending out a distress signal. All crew are to report to their  
designated _ _shuttles immediately. If you're unable to reach a shuttle, get to an escape pod."_

McCoy flipped his tricorder shut. "You're a bit shaken up but fine," he told the Rigellian nurse. He ushered  
both her and Alyen toward the doors. "You heard the Captain! Get going!"

Alyen knew that the CMO would be heading to the Bridge. "Be careful, Doctor."

* * *

 _Bridge_  
1:49 PM

Kirk switched the intercom off, thinking about the distress signal he would send.

He'd written a cipher code program two years ago during the Delphis Net and it would come in handy now;  
only Starfleet vessels had the equipment to decrypt the transmission.


	8. Distress signal

_Captain's Log_  
_Stardate 2265.6.7_

 _The Enterprise is nearly at the end of its extended Five Year patrol and is scheduled to return to Earth  
in another __three months. The crew's performance has been exemplary, but even after seven years,_  
_the shadow of the Enterprise Incident still hangs over all of them, and I suspect it always will._

 _We're currently traveling through the Jovnel sector, monitoring the relay stations positioned on the border  
between Federation territory and the Klingon Empire. We'll be passing by __the Alurne Cluster in another two_  
_days, so Stellar Sciences is preparing to do a series of long range scans._

_Jason Morrick_

* * *

_Enterprise Bridge_  
1:50 PM

"Captain, I'm picking up a Starfleet distress signal." Upon listening further, Uhura stiffened and her eyes  
widened with alarm. "It's from the _Saratoga."_

For an instant everyone on the Bridge froze. Then a maelstrom of silent agitation swept over the entire crew.

Morrick chose to overlook it. "Open all channels," he ordered.

The visual feed showed Captain Kirk and it was immediately apparent that his ship had taken a heavy beating.  
There was chaos all around him and alarms were screaming, but despite all of that he seemed calm.

"This is Captain James T. Kirk of the _USS Saratoga_. Our ship…" The signal was rapidly weakening and part  
of the message was lost. "— attacked — Heavy damage — systems — failing — assistance —"

Abruptly the message cut off.

The mood on the bridge was now silent, barely controlled panic.

"How long will it take us to reach the location of that signal?" Morrick asked.

"Approximately forty minutes, sir," answered the ashen faced Sulu.

"Get us there, maximum warp. Go to Red Alert." He turned to his visibly disturbed First Officer. "Prepare rescue  
teams and alert Medical to prepare to receive casualties.

_Casualties._

Sulu glanced at Chekov.

The Navigator was as white as a sheet and silently mouthing, _No. Please, no._


	9. Evacuation

_Saratoga Bridge_  
_1:55 PM_

The entire bridge crew watched wordlessly as the Captain completed the message.

Thelin finally spoke. "I believe you have some 'trick up your sleeve', as the saying goes, Captain?"

Kirk gave the Andorian an insincere grin. "You believe right. In battle you use what you've got.   
We have no weapons, so I'll use the ship itself. I'm going to pull the infamous Kirk Maneuver;   
program the ship's computer and ram it into the enemy vessel. Sounds like a good plan, no?"

At that moment McCoy made it to the bridge, just in time to hear about the 'Kirk Maneuver.'

"Dammit, Jim! You want to commit suicide or what?!"

"I'm not going to end up like my father, Bones," Kirk answered calmly. "I'll beam out before she hits.  
You know me- always the rebel."

He turned to his First Officer. "Thelin, help me re-route these controls. The rest of you, get to the shuttles!  
Keep the _Saratoga_ between them and the Klingons. I'll protect you from here as long as possible."

He turned to Akari. "Harutu-san," he said solemnly. "You're my best pilot. You'll be flying the _Waverider."_

The _Waverider_ was nearly twice as large as the regular shuttles and the only one equipped with warp drive.  
In the event of evacuation all civilians and families were to head there, to the most secure remaining part  
of the _Saratoga_ and the place best equipped for escape.

"I'm entrusting you with the lives of those on it," Kirk whispered.

Akari nodded solemnly. "I will guard their lives with my own, Jim-san."

"I know, _Sensei."_

* * *

_Saratoga Corridors_

Minil and Alyen raced down the corridors toward the nearby nursery. Alyen, at least, had the assurance that  
his lifemate and children weren't physically hurt- he would have felt it if they had been. But he could sense  
his daughter's fear and confusion and concern for both her and the other children filled him.

He saw the same concern on Minil's face. She had taken over as Head Nurse ever since the Belzonis had  
transferred four years ago and she had a strong maternal streak.

Open entering the nursery, the first thing he was aware of was the children's frightened cries.

The second thing he was aware of was Ensign Bazi bending over a crib. The young Saurian had transferred  
to the _Saratoga_ two years ago as a nurse. She was friendly and eager, but rather unsure of herself and _very_  
intimidated by the CMO. By contrast, she greatly respected Alyen and although she technically outranked him,  
viewed him as a mentor and always deferred to him. An area where she truly shone was with small children  
and she was the one most frequently appointed to tend the ship's nursery, which had been frequently needed  
over the last two years.

The third thing he was aware of was Kevin Park. The sixteen year old had grown up to have a soft spot   
for children and regularly dropped by the nursery to help. He and Bazi were now frantically trying to bundle   
up the nursery's four occupants.

Alyen made his way over to his daughter. Valonee rarely cried, but tears were streaming from her huge eyes.  
As he snatched her up, she clung to him and buried her face in his neck.

Kevin, meanwhile, had picked up two month old Eric Nordstrom, who was crying hysterically.

Minil picked up Arn Omo'Ja. The two year old Trollari wasn't crying, but her eyes communicated her fear.

Her seven month old sister, Arn Tama'Le, was shrieking even louder than Eric, flailing her blue-green  
arms wildly as Bazi picked her up.

"Is anyone still in here?" Petty Officer Karl Logan from Engineering came in, followed by Science Crewman  
Ji Hu Baek. They'd been rushing on their way to evacuate but had stopped to check the nursery.

"We're leaving now," Minil said. She turned to those with her. "Let's get to the _Waverider!"_


	10. Focus

_Saratoga Corridors_  
2:00 PM

The corridors surged with crewmembers. Everywhere there was shouting and barked orders.

"Leave everything! Get to your assigned evacuation area, now!"

"Move it!"

"Get to the hangar deck!"

"Clear these decks now!"

L'Naym led her group through the corridors. She held her son tightly, while constantly noting the others.

_Mrs. Tompkins, Jamar, Dominique, Trisha, Anna, Robert._

"Come, on Robert," she heard Anna saying.

At seventeen, Anna Mayberry had an unquenchable curiosity and was a tireless inventor. She'd grown up  
on the _Saratoga_ and was known as 'Ms. De Vinci' for her constant designs and inventions. It was perhaps  
to be expected that she'd form a friendship with little 'Michelangelo' Robert, whose hand she was tightly  
clutching.

"Where's my mom?" he asked anxiously, eyes wide with fear.

"She'll meet us at the _Waverider,"_ Anna reassured him.

_Get everyone to the Waverider._

That was L'Naym's goal and focus.

Her brows knit in concentration. Mrs. Tompkins and the others were civilians. As a Crewman she was  
the 'ranking officer' as it were. This group was her responsibility. Getting them to safety her task.

_Purpose and focus._

Those were two traits vital to an officer, a Chieftain or any sort of leader.

She had never had any desire to be a leader.

But right now she was.

 _"A Chieftain is responsible for everyone in his or her group. He not only protects them,_ _he guides them._  
_Through burning heat, endless sands and desert storms."_

_"A Terahan always protects its herd."_

This was her herd and she had to get them to safety. This was her caravan and she had to lead them  
through the sandstorm.

_Reach inside and find your strength._

By nature she was gentle and sweet-natured, but no one who knew her would think her weak.

Her strength was there. It had always been there.

It had been there during her Soul Walk on Nlia. When she had taken the arduous rite of passage that every Nlian  
had to endure before becoming an Adult: A month in the desert with nothing but her trusted mount and what she  
could carry on back. Traveling for miles alone on the caravan routes, relying on basic survival skills. A Walker,  
not to be spoken to, looked at, or acknowledged in any way. One who had to walk alone and find their strength  
within.

It had been there six years ago when she had saved Trisha.

It had been there five years ago when she had defied Dr. McCoy when both Jim and her lifemate were missing.

 When both she and her lifemate had defied Jim when he'd ordered them to flee and leave him behind.

 When the _Saratoga_ had suffered through an epidemic.

When she had had to testify at a trial, knowing that if the accused were found guilty he might be executed.

It had been there three years ago when the _Saratoga_ had been hit with particle fragments.

And it had been there two years ago when she and her beloved had endured their first separation during  
the Delphis Net and the Tholian Engagement.

It had been there for each of those times and it was there now.

_Purpose and focus._

_Set a goal and focus on it._

_Reach inside and find your strength._

She would.


	11. We're coming!

_Enterprise_   
_2:00 PM_

The _Enterprise_ streaked through space at maximum warp.

Chekov had navigated the shortest route.

Sulu had the ship full throttle.

Scotty was wringing every last bit of energy out of the core.

Spock's hands were flying over his console going over readings.

Uhura was frantically searching for any further transmissions.

Everyone was silently screaming to their former Captain: _We're coming! We're on our way!_

Silently screaming to the _Enterprise:_ _Go faster! You have to go faster!_

And silently pleading with whatever Higher Power existed: _Please let us get there in time!_  
 _Please don't let us fail him again!! Please!!!_


	12. Lean on me!

_Saratoga Corridor  
2:05 PM_

As he raced through the corridors with Valonee, Alyen managed to pull out his comm. "Beloved, where are you?"  
He could sense her concern and fear, but also purpose driven focus.

_'I'm getting on the Waverider now. I have Jay'veen and other children with me. Where are **you** , Beloved?'_

"I'm on my way. I have Valonee. We're nearly there."

Up ahead he spotted a crewmember approaching from one of the side passageways. It was Crewman Dalin  
and it was obvious that the Risian was injured. Before Alyen could reach him he staggered and fell.

Alyen hesitated, wanting to help a fellow crewmember, wanting as a medic, to help anyone injured, but needing  
to get his daughter to safety.

"Here, let me help." It was Crewman John Nordstrom, Thorson's husband. The Swede was pale with worry,  
frantic to get to the _Waverider_ , desperate to get to his wife and infant son. But he stopped to help regardless.

Alyen thrust his daughter into Nordstrom's arms. "Take her. Go on ahead."

As Nordstrom took Valonee and sped away, Alyen pulled Dalin to his feet and began helping him down the corridor.  
"Come on, Crewman! Lean on me!"

As they made their way down the corridor Alyen's keen medic's eye assessed potential injuries.

_Blast burns from an explosion._

_Definitely one or more broken ribs._

_Possible concussion._

"M-Monica…" Dalin murmured. "I commed her…didn't tell her I was hurt. D…didn't want her to…

_Definite concussion._

"S-She's on the shuttle. I…I've got to get to…"

"You'll be with her soon. You're not going to miss your honeymoon because of a bunch of trigger happy Klingons!"


	13. One hundred and thirty one lives

_Saratoga Bridge  
2:07 PM_

Thelin spoke in a conversational tone: "I believe, Captain, that you are aware that the chances  
of the transporters not working are over ninty percent?"

"Yes," Kirk answered, his fingers stopping for a second before they resumed typing.   
"But you know me, Thelin– no such thing as a no-win scenario."

His father had been Captain for twelve minutes and saved eight hundred lives. He had been one   
for seven years and had helped save billions– but only one hundred and thirty one lives mattered now.

The one hundred and seven crewmembers and the twenty four civilians on the _Saratoga._

His crew mattered now.

Bones mattered now.

His Soul Siblings mattered now.

His niece and nephew mattered now.

He paused. The set of instructions he'd just typed in would take a few moments to go through.

He flipped open his comm. "Tuskaro. Are you and Shylea alright? And the kids?"

His Soul Brother's voice responded, tight with urgency. _"Yes, Captain. I'm almost at the Waverider  
now. __Shylea and the children are already on board. She's shaken and the children are frightened,  
_ _but they're alright."_

He internally let out a breath that he'd been holding from the second the attack started. "Good.   
Keep going."

The instructions went through and he resumed typing.

He thought back to Jay'veen's Naming Ceremony. When Alyen and L'Naym had proclaimed him   
their brother and uncle to their newborn son, he had actually wept from joy and gratitude.   
He'd wept again last year at the Naming of little Valonee. His family, as far as he was concerned,   
was complete.

He'd be _damned_ before he let anything happen to his family now.


	14. Furious desperation

_Enterprise Engineering  
2:08 PM_

"How much longer will it take us to reach them?" Scotty asked breathlessly.

"Another fifteen minutes, sir," a Lieutenant said.

_Fifteen minutes._

Fifteen minutes was too long. Far too long. Every second's delay meant a greater chance of finding   
nothing left of the _Saratoga_ but smoking ashes.

"More power, dammit! We need more speed!"

"Sir, if we go any faster we'll fly the core apart!"

Scotty whirled on him, eyes wild. "FLY IT APART THEN! MORE POWER! NOW!"


	15. We'll both help

_Corridors  
2:09 PM_

"Alyen!"

Alyen glanced up to spot Crewman Ceron from Security. He didn't think he'd ever been so happy to see him.  
The tall, burly Moaven was regarded as somewhat of a strongman among the crew. He was a bit hot tempered  
and enjoyed sparing, but despite that was a gentle giant with children. Trisha adored him and she, for her part,  
could turn him into putty.

Ceron made his way over to them, his golden eyes taking in Dalin's condition, who appeared on the verge  
of passing out. "I'll take care of him. You go on. You have a wife and two children waiting."

There was nothing Alyen wanted more than to rush ahead to his family. But he stayed where he was.  
"He'll get there faster if we both help." He managed a rueful, "That's what Saratogans do after all."


	16. Bite hard

_Bridge  
2:11 PM_

"Get to your shuttle, Thelin," Kirk told his First Officer, who had just finished his last share of commands.  
At the Andorian's questioning gaze he gave him a smirk. "Don't worry about me – I'm too awesome to die now!"

Thelin didn't respond in any other way than with a small bow: an Andorian sign of respect. With a sense  
of finality he left, the doors closing behind him with a soft whoosh.

Kirk was alone now; worry for his crew battling through his focus. The _Saratoga_ would be between the enemy  
ship and the shuttles, but if the Klingons started firing on them…

He shoved the feelings away, he didn't have time to worry now. It was time to issue the final commands.

He recalled one of the first conversations he'd had with Filars, when she had told him some of the history  
of the _Saratoga's_ class.

 _"Delphis is Greek for Dolphin. The man who designed this class, grew up by the ocean. He often said that  
dolphins __weren't big or flashy and if you saw a whole pod of them, none of them stood out. But if you got  
one alone and saw __what it could do, you knew it owned the sea because there was nothing in the sea more_  
clever or more daring. 

_"I've often thought of the Saratoga as a terrier._ _Terriers may be small but they've_ _got huge personalities  
and they're absolutely fearless. If someone _ _they love is in danger a terrier will throw itself at a dragon  
without hesitating. _ _A terrier's heart is synonymous with a lion's heart._ _"_

It was time to show Kor that dolphins owned the sea and that terriers could bite very hard.


	17. Last aboard

_Waverider  
2:14 PM_

Alyen and Ceron half helped, half dragged Dalin onboard the _Waverider._ As the three made their way toward  
the aft compartment, they was promptly swamped by a near hysterical O'Gill, followed by L'Naym.

"Don't grab him," Alyen instructed, "he had broken ribs."

After helping to situate the Risian, Alyen allowed himself the indulgence of tightly embracing his lifemate before  
quickly beginning to assess the other passengers for injuries. He noticed right away that the entomologist,  
Dr. Weber seemed to be in the worse shape; he was unconscious, badly burned and bloody. Minil was crouched  
beside him and an obviously distraught R'ral.

"He did it for me," the cadet kept saying; "When the blast hit he jumped in front of me…to protect me."

Also looking badly off was Chief Petty Officer Clara McDowell from Engineering. Short statured but strong physically  
she had several burns as well. Her husband, Chief Petty Officer Fergus McDowell and their very upset nephew,  
Connor were with her, as well as Cadet T'Pree.

"I'm fine," McDowell kept saying, although obviously in great pain.

"You are _not_ fine," T'pree, said firmly. "Fine has variable definitions. Fine is unacceptable. And your condition  
is worse." The young dark skinned Vulcan was in a special training program and had been transferred to the  
 _Saratoga_ earlier that year to assist as both a nurse and a counselor.

"Come on!"

Alyen recognized the voice of Dr. McCoy and looked up to see the CMO entering. Leaning against him was another  
civilian scientist, a very battered looking Dr. Karl Nornheim. The part of him that wasn't a concerned medic thought  
ruefully that the hydrologist no doubt wished he was back in his native Norway right now.

After helping Nornheim sit down, McCoy moved toward Weber.

"Doctor?" Alyen asked quickly; "The Captain?"

"He's still onboard." McCoy's face was set in concentration but his voice still taunt with worry. "He's going to ram  
the _Saratoga_ into the Klingons and beam over before it hits."

 _"Everyone, stand by for launch!"_ Akari's voice came over the Comm.


	18. The Flagship

_Bridge_  
2:15 PM  


Kirk finished typing the last commands."Computer, are all the shuttles away?"

" _Affirmative. All shuttles have cleared the docking bays."_

"Are there any other life signs aboard, aside from mine?"

_'Negative.'_

"Computer, lock the helm at coordinates of Klingon ship. Code Kirk beta gamma dzeta three five one."

_'Acknowledged.'_

"Computer, activate transporter once the coordinates are applied. Activation code Kirk one point five six gamma."

_'Denied.'_

His heart twisted painfully. "Computer activate transporter once the coordinates are applied," he repeated.  
"Code Kirk one point five six gamma."

He heard the words that condemned him.

 _"Denied. Transporters offline, due_ …"

Thelin was right.

Bones was right.

This time he wasn't going to beat the odds.

_But this still isn't a no-win. If I can keep my crew safe its a victory._

He looked around the empty Bridge. "I'm sorry, Old Girl," he said to his ship. "You deserved a place of honor  
in the Fleet Museum. But if I have to go down there's no other ship I'd rather go down on. The _Enterprise_ was  
 _never_ the Flagship. It was _you_ all along."


	19. I'm sorry, Bones

_Bridge of the Daqtagh_  
_2:16 PM_

"So," Kor said with amusement as he watched the fleeing shuttles. "The cowards flee. Rats deserting  
a sinking ship."

He nodded approvingly at the sight of the badly damaged _Saratoga_ moving in front of them. "But Kirk  
is still putting up a fight, trying to fly that puny ship of his against us." A cruel smile spread across his face.  
"Don't worry, Kirk, I'll get to you soon enough. But first I have a little 'gift' that should ignite your warrior  
blood even more."

He turned to his tactical officer. "Power weapons and target the shuttles. Destroy all of them."

"Sir, we don't have a clear shot. The _Saratoga_ has placed itself between us and the shuttles."

"Kirk won't be able to keep them protected forever, especially not without weapons. As soon as they're  
far enough away begin firing."

* * *

_Waverider  
_

_"Bones."_

McCoy's head jerked up at the voice on the comm. The Captain had just hailed the _Waverider_ …  
from the _Saratoga._

"Jim," he asked breathlessly; "what are you still doing on the _Saraotga?_ Transport over here!"

_"I can't. The transporters are down."_

The silence was deafening. Every adult's heart on the _Waverider_ froze.

McCoy spoke again. "Jim?"

 _"Yeah."_ A hollow sounding laugh. _"Looks like I'm my father's son after all."_

_No. No this wasn't happening._

" _Bones, the computer says another ship's approaching the system, but we can't risk it getting  
here too late. __The Klingons are powering their weapons again and might start firing on the shuttles._  
_And I will NOT let that happen."_

There was a pause then a quiet but firm…" _I'm sorry, Bones."_

"No, Jim!" McCoy shouted, his voice panicking in a way no one had ever heard before.  
"Don't you _DARE!_ JIM? _JIM!?"_


	20. Last run

_Saratoga Bridge_  
2:17 PM  


"Computer, issue command code, Kirk beta gamma dzeta three five one."

_'Acknowledged.'_

"Full speed."

The _Saratoga_ bucked forward. The Klingon ship grew larger on the screen.

"Let's go, Old Girl," he whispered to his ship. "One last run. Let's make it one for the history books."

As if it heard him, his stalwart little vessel picked up speed.

The Klingon ship grew larger and larger. It was much bigger than them but if they could hit it at just  
the right angle _…_

* * *

_Bridge of the Daqtagh_

"Commander, the _Saratoga!"_

"What is he doing?"

"No, he wouldn't _…_!"

* * *

_Saratoga Bridge_

Kirk closed his eyes, picturing the faces of his crew and willing his thoughts to reach the three he loved most.

_Bones… Shylea…Tuskaro…I love you…_


	21. Gone

_Waverider_  
2:17 PM

McCoy was frantically trying to raise the Captain on his Comm. Nobody could remember seeing him  
ever lose control like this. Alyen reached out to try to calm him.

Something familiar cut him short and caused L'Naym, who was in the middle of trying to comfort the children,  
to freeze.

For an instant both lifemates felt _Jim,_ all that was their Captain, Friend, Soul Brother, gently brush against  
their spirits.

* _Bones…Shylea…Tuskaro…I love you…*_

Then, as if a breeze had carried the essence away, it was gone.

Time and all of them froze.

They didn't need to see the ship that had been their home for six years erupt into a ball of flame, taking  
the attacker with it. They knew…

James T. Kirk was gone.

Alyen gave a sharp cry of grief.

L'Naym burst into sobs.

McCoy swore a blue streak even as tears streamed down his face.


	22. Too late

_Enterprise Bridge.  
2:17 PM_

They arrived just in time to see a tiny fleet of escape shuttles fleeing from the _Saratoga._

Just in time to catch a short transmission between it and one of the shuttles…

_"I'm sorry, Bones."_

_"No, Jim! Don't you DARE! Jim! Jim!?'_

Just in time to see the _Saratoga_ fly straight into the attacker; destroying both in an enormous ball of flame.

There was complete silence on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ for a moment.

Then a quiet sob broke it.

Sulu slowly turned his head to see that Chekov's cheeks were wet.

"I newer told him I vas sorry," the young Russian whispered, tears streaming down his face.

And, hearts shattering, they all realized that none of them ever would.

James T. Kirk was dead and so too was any hope of forgiveness or redemption.

Morrick's quiet voice managed to penetrate their shock and grief. "Alert Medical to prepare to receive the survivors  
of the _Saratoga_."

Numbly, Uhura moved to comply, even as tears streamed down her own cheeks. They had failed Captain Kirk  
in life, but they could at least help his crew.


	23. They dare show themselves!

_Waverider  
_ _2:22 PM_

"Doctor," Alyen gently approached the stricken McCoy. "Another Starship's approaching. It's the _Enterprise."_

McCoy's head snapped up and Alyen flinched from the pure fury in his eyes.

"The _Enterprise?!_ _They're_ _here!?"_

"Doctor, please. They're here to-."

In a blind fury, McCoy surged to his feet, hands clenched. _"They dare show themselves here now_!?  
_Have they come to spit on his grave!?"_

Alyen grabbed his superior by both shoulders. "Doctor, listen to me! We have injured crewmen!  
Dr. Weber and Chief McDowell are both critical and Crewman Dalin's almost as bad. Commander   
Akari's been in contact with the other shuttles and every one of them has injured. They need their   
CMO. They need _you._ But you're no use to anyone if you lose it!"

He didn't mention that the _Enterprise_ had plenty of medical personnel who would, no doubt, be standing by.  
He had to snap the doctor out his grief and rage and was certain that helping the crew would do it.

"They're your patients, Doctor and you need to focus on _them_. _Please,_ for everyone's sake."

McCoy was shaking but his eyes met Alyen's and he managed a brief nod.


	24. Triage

_Enterprise Cargo Bay_  
3:00 PM  


McCoy was barely keeping himself together as he raced around the cargo bay which had been set up  
as a triage for the crew. He completely ignored anyone from the _Enterprise_ , apart from the CMO; they  
needed to coordinate to tend to all the injured.

And there had been many.

Twenty eight crewmembers had been injured in the attack, four critically: Dr Weber, Petty Officer McDowell,   
Lieutenant Commander Hophea Patariki and Ensign Jolene Buchman. Buchman has been the worst and   
it had been touch and go with her for awhile.

Four others had been seriously injured, although not as critically. Among them was Gavor. Although lying  
down the Tellerite chef was as ornery as ever. "Watch were you're poking that thing!" he snapped at a nurse.  
"It will take a lot more than a rabble of Klingons to end me!"

Seven other crewmembers had sustained moderate injuries and thirteen mild ones.

There had only been one casualty and that one tore at everyone's heart.

Alyen was pushing himself every bit as hard as McCoy. Ever the morale booster, L'Naym moved among  
the crew as well, with gentle touches and encouraging words. Both lifemates were struggling valiantly  
to contain their grief. ' _Time enough later…_ ' they chanted silently to themselves.

There would be time later for them and the rest of the crew to grieve once the injured had been tended  
to and things had settled.

And there _would_ be grief. Especially from McCoy, whom Alyen was already worried about. He was certain   
that the doctor's dedication to his patients was the only thing keeping him from either completely breaking   
down or exploding in apoplectic fury or both.

As medical personnel hurried about, uninjured crewman were always within close reach to help.  
Even some who had sustained injuries themselves. Minil was trying to get Petty Officer Tanya Shatner  
to sit down so that she could tend the nasty burns on her head and arm. "You need to let me look   
at that," the Rigellian said exasperatedly. "And then you're probably going to need to rest."

"I'll rest when I'm dead!" Shatner snapped, as sharp tongued as ever. She was carrying a blanket over   
to Thorson who was sitting beside her husband and clutching their infant son. From the moment  
the first blast had been fired the geologist had gone into near shock from worry about her baby.  
Her face was tear streaked, she hadn't stopped shaking and she was clutching her son as if her life  
depended on it. Her husband, whose arms were wrapped tightly around them both, didn't look much   
better.

"All I've got are some scratches," Shatner hissed to Minil as she gently wrapped the blanket around  
the traumatized family. "Right now other people need help and that's what I'm going to give them!  
So go scan someone else! I'm busy!"

It's what Saratogans did.

In another corner of the room Thelin was talking to Morrick and Commander Spock, calmly explaining  
the events leading up to the attack and what happened during it. Other personnel provided details  
here and there, since not even Thelin could be everywhere at once. They were professional and gave  
their full cooperation to the _Enterprise_ crew.

But the tension was so thick one could cut it with a knife.

Alyen focused his attention on Crewman Carmen Bautista. Since arriving on the _Enterprise_ she had   
been one of the most active in trying to help as many as possible. He had finally managed to corner   
her long enough to run a tricorder over her. "You need to sit down and rest," he said firmly. "Right now."

She shot him an angry look. "I didn't get so much as a bruise during the attack! I'm fine! Other people   
are hurt and I'm going to pull my weight all the way!"

"You need to think about the baby," Alyen said softly.

She froze in shock. "Baby? What baby?"

"You're four weeks pregnant," the Nlian whispered as he looked at the readings.

A few minutes later, after leaving a stunned, finally seated Bautista talking to her equally stunned   
husband, Alyen made his way over to a corner. "Jim," he whispered, tears forming in his blue eyes.   
"Soul Brother. You saved a crewmember that no one even knew existed yet."

"Excuse me," a quiet voice said.

Alyen turned to see one of the _Enterprise_ Senior staff. Ensign Chekov, the Chief Navigator, he recalled.

"Please…I…I needed to ask you someting."

Alyen noticed that the young Human's face was pale and his eyes red from weeping. He straightened.  
"What do you need to know, sir?"

"Ze Keptin. He was with you for six years. Was he happy?"

In the devastated Human's eyes, Alyen saw the true questions being asked.

_Did he heal from what happened to him? From what we did to him?_

"Yes."

"Thank you," the Russian whispered.


	25. Orders to depart

_Enterprise Ready Room  
5:45 PM_

"How's the crew?" Admiral Pike's voice was a whisper and he looked years older.

"The _Saratoga_ took a heavy beating before they evacuated," Morrick answered quietly. "Twenty eight were injured,  
some critically, but they've been stabilized. There was only one casualty…Captain Kirk."

Pike took a shuddered breath. "That's the way he would have wanted it."

"Commander Scout nearly burned out the engines getting us here so we had to cool them for a couple of hours  
We'll be ready to get underway again in about twenty minutes. We're going to head for Deep Space Station K-11,   
we'll be there in seventy-two hours. From there they'll be able to arrange passage back home."

"That won't be necessary, Jason," Pike said firmly. "I've spoken to the Captains of both the _USS Andaman_ and  
the _Ptolemy_ and they're en-route to you now _._ They were both good friends of Jim's and the _Andaman_ is a member  
of the Delphis Pod, which Jim put together. They're both between assignments and they've offered to transport  
the _Saratoga_ crew all the way back to Earth. You're to leave immediately and head for these coordinates.  
At Warp 6 you'll be able to rendezvous with the _Ptolemy_ in twenty four hours and the _Andaman_ in thirty five.  
They should have them home in about a week."

"Starfleet doesn't want us near Kirk's crew one second longer than necessary do they, Chris?" Morrick said quietly.

Pike didn't answer. He didn't need too.

"They're not alone. I've seen the interaction between the _Saratoga's_ crew and mine. They've all been professional  
and given their full cooperation, but I can see the look in their eyes. They were all fiercely loyal to Kirk and they've  
never forgotten what his former crew did to him. And while they may have been willing to tolerate an _Enterprise_  
from a parallel reality, this time it's different. This time it's not _doubles_ of the crew that betrayed their Captain,  
this _is_ the crew that betrayed their Captain. And our being here now, at the scene of his death, is salt in the wounds.  
As far as they're concerned seventy-two hours with us may as well be seventy-two years."


	26. Familiar touch

_Enterprise Cargo Bay_  
5:51 PM

Things had quieted down somewhat. The more seriously injured patients had all been taken to Medical Bay,  
accompanied by Dr. McCoy. But there were still plenty of patients left.

_"All decks this is Captain Morrick. Begin preparations for departure, we'll be leaving in fifteen minutes."_

Alyen barely noticed the announcement, he was bent over Lieutenant Eric Keller, assessing his condition.  
"The Doctor stopped the internal bleeding," he said gently. "You'll be fine."

"Is that your expert medical opinion?" the young Security officer asked with a weak grin.

"It's a promise."

A familiar touch brushed against his spirit.

* _T…Tuskaro…*_

He snapped up in shock. _*Jim!?*_

Across the room, L'Naym was with Marine Biologist, Arn Hyi'ka. Her husband, Symbologist, Arn Tar'Ke, had  
received minor injures but had been treated and while he was rocking their youngest, Arn Tama'Le, to sleep,  
she was tending to Arn Omo'Ja.

"Here," L'Naym gently wrapped a blanket around the two year old, who immediately clutched at it with her  
three fingered hands. "Let's get this wrapped around-"

A touch nearly as familiar to her as her lifemate's enfolded her.

_*Shylea…*_

_*Jim!?*_

_*Guys… need help…*_


	27. I've got you, Captain

_Cargo Bay_  
5:53 PM

In the years to come the lifemates would try to describe the exact sequence of what happened next.  
They mostly recalled it as a series of realizations.

_Jim was alive!_

_He needed their help!_

_The announcement…! Captain Morrick had said that the ship was getting ready to leave…!_

_NO! They COULDN'T leave! They had to find Jim!_

_They had to stop the ship from leaving so that they could find Jim!_

_Commander Thelin…they had to tell Commander Thelin!_

Alyen found himself racing toward a console. "Computer, locate Commander Thelin!"

_'Commander Thelin is on the Bridge.'_

Two Nlians fled from the Cargo Bay and out into the corridor, looking for a turbolift.

* * *

 _Enterprise Bridge_  
_5:57 PM_

Before the doors had fully opened, Alyen had bolted out. He didn't ask permission to come on   
to the Bridge- permission was completely irrelevant. He didn't even glance at Morrick- the Captain   
was a complete non-entity.

Only one being existed right now- a tall Andorian First Officer.

**_"Commander!!"_ **

Every head on the Bridge turned to look at him.

"Crewman?" Thelin asked, puzzled as Alyen hurtled towards him.

The gentle natured Nlian did something that no one on the _Saratoga_ would have dared. He flung himself  
at the tall Andorian scientist/warrior/First Officer, roughly grabbed his tunic by both lapels and jerked  
his face down toward his.

" _We can't leave yet!"_ He gasped for breath. "Jim… He's alive!"

L'Naym was right behind him. "Jim's alive! We feel him!"

The Andorian's eyes widened but he remained calm."You told me that you sensed his death…"

Alyen was breathless from his run, so L'Naym continued, "When the _Saratoga_ was destroyed we felt him   
say goodbye to us and then we sensed his Bond with us break. We assumed that meant that he'd died…  
But we were wrong, Commander! Something else happened to him! He… left somehow…went somewhere   
else. But now he's back! When he came back the Bond reconnected. It _surged_ and we were able to hear   
him calling us. Its fading now but we can still feel him!"

Alyen had found his second wind. " _You can't let the Enterprise leave, Commander_!" He tightened his grip  
in desperation, pulling the Andorian's face closer until their noses were nearly touching. "Jim's alive and  
he's close by! But he's hurt! He needs us! We have to find him! _Please!"_

Gently the Andorian removed the Nlian's hands from his lapels. Straightening, he turned to Morrick.   
"Captain…"

Morrick had stood and had been staring, eyebrows raised. He immediately turned to a saucer eyed,  
mouth agape, Chief Navigator. "Mr. Chekov, run another sensor sweep of the area."

Chekov snapped out of his shock and immediately began to run his hands over the controls.

A few breathless moments passed and then…

"Keptin! I'm picking up an escape pod! Zere is one life sign, but it's very weak!" Without waiting for either  
orders or permission, he bolted from his chair.

* * *

 _Transporter Room_  
6:00 PM

" _MOVE!"_ Chekov shrieked at the transporter worker. She hastily complied and his hands flew over  
the controls. In another moment a one man escape pod appeared on the transporter pad.

Chekov rushed to it and ripped it open.

Inside lay Captain James T. Kirk.

Badly battered and unconscious…but alive.

Chekov completely broke down.

He clutched his former Captain tightly to him and wept. "I've got you Captain," he whispered, as tears  
streamed down his face. "I've got you."


	28. How could this have happened?

_Enterprise Ready Room_  
_8:00 PM_

"What I don't understand is _how the hell could this have happened_?" Pike asked incredulously.

"I don't understand it either, Chris," Morrick answered. "Even if he had made it to an escape pod in time,  
there's no way it would have gotten far enough to have avoided the explosion. And even if by some miracle  
it _had,_ we would have detected it. We ran several sensor sweeps and there was nothing. That pod simply  
_wasn't there_ earlier. From examining him, Dr. McCoy's concluded that he was in a substantial explosion.  
He also doesn't think that he was conscious when he got into that pod."

"Then how could he have gotten into it and launched himself away?"

"Once again, I don't know."

"What about Crewmen Alyen and L'Naym? Have they been able to tell you anything?"

"They've been debriefed, both by Commander Thelin and myself. They've done everything they can to help  
us understand both their telepathic abilities and their bond with Kirk. They said that Soul Siblings normally  
are only able to communicate with each other while in physical contact. The only known exception is if one  
of them is dying. The reason for that- and I admit that what they told us next was metaphysical- is that  
Soul Bonds connect souls together and when a soul is in the process of leaving the body, both it, and  
consequentially, the Bond surges, enabling Soul Siblings to sense it from a distance.

"Just before the _Saratoga_ was destroyed they both sensed Kirk saying goodbye to them and then they felt  
the connection break. They naturally assumed that meant that he'd died. Then, a few hours later, the Bond  
somehow reconnected. When that happened it once again surged briefly, enabling them to sense him from  
a distance."

"Have they been able to tell anything from their contact with him now?"

"Kirk's still unconscious, so his thoughts are garbled. They've been able to glean that some kind of powerful  
being intervened. We'll have to wait for him to regain consciousness to learn more."

"Keep me appraised." Pike took a deep shuddered breath. "When he's recovered there'll be time to get a full  
report from him. But right now I suppose all that matters is that he's back."

"I second that, Chris."

* * *

_Enterprise Medical Bay  
8:30 PM_

The Medical Bay had been very crowded. Crowded both with injured from the _Saratoga_ and with non-injured  
personnel practically breaking the door down, wanting to see their Captain. An exhausted McCoy had finally  
shooed all visitors away, telling them that they'd be alerted when the Captain was awake.

Now while McCoy tried (not very successfully) to get some desperately needed rest, Alyen and L'Naym  
both sat by Kirk.

Once again they clasped their Soul Brother's hands.

_Three souls once again touched._

_*Jim. We're here.*_

_Even unconscious the Touched Soul immediately responded. *Guys.*_

_*You are Jim. And you are ours,* the Joined Souls whispered._

_*You are Shylea and Tuskaro,* the Touched Soul whispered back. *You are one. And you are mine.*_


	29. Q

_Kirk slept and remembered._

_Remembered being on the bridge of the Saratoga, speeding toward the Klingon ship._ _Closing his eyes,  
picturing the faces of his crew, willing his thoughts to reach the three _ _he loved most._

 _The Saratoga striking the Klingon vessel_ …

 _Himself being hurled forward and then enveloped in white light_ …

_And then..._

* * *

Nothing but white light all around.

He looked around confused. What happened to the _Saratoga?_ The Klingon ship?

How did he get here? And where exactly _was_ here?

"Full of questions, aren't you?"

 A voice behind him startled him from his thoughts. He spun around to find a smirking man.

He was wearing something that was similar to Starfleet uniform – but although the insignia was familiar,  
the uniform design was completely different.

"Who the hell are you?" he blurted.

The stranger chuckled. "Hello, Jim. You may call me Q."

Shivers ran down his spine because he knew that this… man was dangerous. Or could be if he wished.

"My crew? Are they all right?"

"They're just fine. They're being picked up by a Federation starship as we speak."

He let out a breath. "Where am I, Q?"

"I was hoping you'd ask that." Q gestured around, "This is the Q Continuum."

"Don't get me wrong, Q, but why exactly did you bring me here?"

"That is quite a question, my dear Captain," Q said jovially. "I trust that you remember, Spock?"

_Spock._

From Q's words Kirk knew which Spock he meant. Of course he remembered his old friend and mentor.  
He remembered every single one of the talks the two of them had had. The elderly Vulcan had been gone  
for five years and he still missed him terribly.

He nodded and Q continued. "From your encounter with that anomaly in the Campor System a few years  
ago, you know that there are an infinite number of timelines. Ambassador Spock's timeline was my favorite.  
Since that mess with Nero and the red matter however, the possibility of it coming to life here is pretty  
low now."

He gave Kirk a sad smile. "The _Enterprise_ crew certainly didn't help matters.." His eyebrow then raised.  
"They're the ones who rescued your crew by the way." At Kirk's obvious surprise he chuckled. "Considering  
how loyal your crew is to you and how _dismal_ their opinion is of the _Enterprise_ , that should be _one_  
interesting sight."

He once again grew serious. "And now, James Tiberius Kirk, the question is – what do you think should happen next?"

"You mean I have options?" Kirk wondered aloud.

Q chuckled. "There are always options, Jim. Maybe showing you what would happen will help you decide?"

Kirk nodded.

Q vanished and white fog enveloped him. A low voice spoke.

**_Embrace eternity._ **

* * *

**_This is what is happening now, Jim Kirk._ **

_Finding himself on the U.S.S. Enterprise. A ship he had once vowed never to set foot on again._

_Young Chekov programming the next round of maneuvers.  
Tears streaming down his face.  
__The sorrowful, "I never told him I was sorry, I never told him I was sorry…" replaying in his_ _mind_  
over and over.

 _Bones barely keeping himself together as he raced around the cargo bay tending to the injured.  
  
_ _His Soul Siblings helping as well, struggling to contain their grief._

"Bones! Guys, I'm here!" he called.

**_They can't see, hear or sense you. We exist outside of their reality now._ **

_Thelin talking to Morrick, explaining the events leading up to the attack and afterwards._

_"The ship was under the command of a Klingon commander named Kor. He knew about the Captain_  
_from his trial and hinted at knowing Nero. From what he said I don't believe that this was an attack_  
_against the Federation, or that it was officially sanctioned by the Empire. I believe he attacked us_  
_for no other reason than to test his prowess against a famous Starfleet Captain."_

**_He's right on all counts. Things are definitely going to get interesting with the Klingons  
because of Kor's little stunt._ **

_Other crewmembers providing details here and there.  
All of them giving their full cooperation _ _to the Enterprise crew.  
But the air of distrust and disproval is so thick that even he, who's not_ _fully there, can feel it._

**_Like I said, an interesting scene._ **

* * *

  ** _This is what is will happen if the timeline is not allowed to heal itself. Watch, Jim Kirk.  
And decide._ **

_The USS Ptolemy and the Andaman_ _rendezvousing with the Enterprise to take his crew home.  
The crew holding a private farewell service for him._

**_They all love you. This is going to be hard for them._ **

Kirk cried as he witnessed the depth of his crews' grief, desperately wanting to comfort them.

 _His crew returned safely to Earth._  
_Most of Starfleet and several delegates, Federation and otherwise, turning out for a very public_  
 _memorial service._  
_Pike, and so many others whose lives he had touched, and vice versa, mourning him._

 **_You're important to more people than you realize_ ** **.**

 _His crew pretty much going their separate ways afterwards.  
Most assigned to other ships, others_ _to stations or outposts._  
_But always bound to each other._  
 _Never forgetting James T. Kirk._  
 _All of them considering the years spent under his command the most significant of their lives._

_Bones resigning from Starfleet and surrendering to alcohol not long afterwards._

"Bones, please don't do this!"

**_He can't hear you._ **

_Others try to help. Friends, family, Kirk's Soul Siblings, Bailey…  
_ _But he pushes them all away._

 **_You were his anchor. Without you_ ** _..._

 _After two months of self-abuse; combining alcohol and antidepressants, he is found_ _on one  
of the streets of Riverside_. _The autopsy determines alcohol poisoning as the cause of death._

 _"_ Bones," Kirk wept. "Bones _…_ "

**_He might have been able to work through his grief in time. But alcohol cut that time short._ **

**_He's not the only one unable to cope._ **

_The Enterprise returning to Earth a month later.  
__Chekov resigning from Starfleet immediately afterwards.  
Two weeks later checking into a hotel.  
_ _The following morning housekeeping finds him in the bathtub with his wrists slit._

_Beside him a note with these words:_

_“We betrayed our Captain and we drove him to his death. Those are two sins which can never  
__be forgiven. For seven years I lived for only reason: the faint fragile hope that someday,  
somehow, I might gain his __forgiveness_. _But now that day will never come_ _and our guilt_  
_is compounded for we not only killed the Captain, we killed his best friend, Dr. McCoy_  
_as well. That's three sins which can never be forgiven_.

_“Or in my case lived with._

_"I'm sorry, Captain. I know that wherever you are now you despise me, but I pray that someday…  
maybe in a thousand or a million years… you are you can find it within yourself to forgive me._

_"For I know that I will never forgive myself."_

Kirk was stunned and saddened. "Chekov _…_ I never wanted _…_ "

 _Spock resigning soon afterwards, accompanied by Uhura._  
_The two of them settling on a Federation colony that focuses on scientific research._  
_Finding a measure of contentment together.  
__But Bones', Chekov's and especially Kirk's shadow, haunt them both for the rest of their lives._

_Scotty and Sulu staying on the Enterprise.  
Their work remaining exemplary but…_

_"I've worked with Commander Scott for twelve years," an Enterprise engineer tells a colleague.  
"And I have never **once** seen that man smile."_

_"I know," his friend replies. "It’s the same with Sulu. He was never the same after the Enterprise Incident.  
And after the Captain, McCoy and Chekov… He died too, his body just hasn't figured it out yet."_

**_Not everything is bad. In fact, there's a lot of good._ **

_Most of his former crew having distinguished careers.  
Many gaining their own Commands._  
_Many making important discoveries_.  
_Several becoming famous._

**_You don't seem happy. Aren't you proud of them?_ **

"Of course I am! But I should have been there with them. Been able to praise them in person."

**_Let's drop in on your Soul Siblings._ **

_His Soul Siblings assigned to an important research outpost.  
Later sent to Medical Starbase III,_ _famous for its training programs and home to some of Starfleet's  
most seasoned __medical officers.  
__Years later, now both bearing the rank of Chief Petty Officer, becoming personnel_ _on the USS Pasteur:  
Starfleet's newest and largest hospital ship, dubbed the Flagship of Starfleet Medical.  
Shlyea’s botanical __skills helping to develop some new medicines._  
_Tuskaro, who has continued his medical training over the years, helping to save many lives_.

**_They're blessed in another way as well._ **

_Not long after transferring to the Pasteur, they welcome their third child._

" _I dreamed about Jim last night," Shylea whispers to her lifemate as she holds their newborn daughter.  
"He would have been so happy for us."_

_"He **is** happy for us, Beloved," Tuskaro whispers. "I know it."_

"Guys! I _am_ happy for you! And I am so, **_so_** proud of you! But I don't want you to dream about me!  
I want to be there with you!"

* * *

 ** _And this is what could happen, if the timeline is allowed to heal itself_**.

_Himself, his crew and several hundred new crewmembers, entering a new ship._

_Himself attending several diplomatic functions; smoothing over the ruffled feathers_ _of ambassadors,  
as well as being interesting company himself._

_He and his crew embarking on a Five Year mission. Boldly going where no one has gone before.  
_

_Bones always at his side, wherever he goes.  
They both form new friendships and even find other loves.  
_ _But they're always there for each other._

 _Proudly watching as his Soul Siblings have distinguished careers.  
_ _Sometimes he's with them and sometimes apart, but even then he's never far away.  
For even __if they are separated by light years they are still ‘Parted from yet never parted._  
_Never and always touching and touched.'_

_All three of them watching with pride as Jay'veen becomes a Starfleet Captain himself._

_Seeing himself growing old, but not alone. **Never** alone._

**_Choose, Jim Kirk._ **

He did.

* * *

Once more he stood in an endless field of white. Q was standing beside him.

"Why did you do this, Q?"

"Because you're important." Q's looked thoughtful. "Most James T. Kirk's tend to be important in  
all realities. Each one of them is like a nexus, either in the midst of great change or causing it.  
Often both. When they're not in the equation things tend to go wrong, but when they are they  
have a tendency to always turn a no win situation into a win."

His smile once again turned mischievous. "The James T. Kirk that you ran into a few years ago,  
the one who never left the _Enterprise_ -he and I have had a few encounters as well." Q paused and  
his eyes glowed with white light. "In fact, not long before the two of you met, he and I were involved  
in an interesting gambit involving the Prophets and the Pah-Wraiths."

"Who?" Kirk asked.

Q's eyes returned to normal. "Another race of extra-dimensional beings. You don't need to concern  
yourself with them. Yet.

“Suffice to say that since then, from gazing across all dimensions and timelines, I've learned that you're  
going to be just as important. Both to the Federation and to the Q Continuum. But you couldn't very  
well do much if you were blasted to space dust. So I gave you a choice and I was pretty confident  
of the one you'd make."

An escape pod suddenly appeared and Kirk felt himself blacking out.

"In you go now," he heard Q saying. "It'd probably be better if you're not awake when I put you back.  
Your physical form took quite a beating from your ship blowing up."

* * *

 _6/8/2265_  
Enterprise Sickbay  
7:30 AM

Kirk woke up.

Bones was above him, pale as a sheet with dark circles surrounding his eyes. "Jim," he whispered,  
and then crushed him in an embrace. An embrace Kirk returned with as much urgency.

Beside him were his beloved Soul Siblings and his Senior staff. He noticed that the _Enterprise_ Senior staff  
were hovering in the room as well, and he knew he needed to finally confront what had happened between  
them seven years ago.

But there'd be time for that later. Just like there'd be time later to talk to Starfleet and give a full report  
on what the hell happened.

For now _…_

His gaze went to the faces that he loved.

_Bones…_

_Shylea…_

_Tuskaro…_

_Filars…_

_Tolliver…_

_Akari…_

_Hatcher…_

_Thelin…_

_Arex…_

_M'Ress…_

For now he was content just to be with them and he felt more alive than he ever had.


	30. Resolutions

_Enterprise Briefing Room  
3:48 PM_

Kirk stood alone in the _Enterprise_ Briefing Room gazing out at the stars.

This day had been a roller coaster of both actions and emotions. He had spent a few hours (not nearly long  
enough) with his beloved crew. First with Bones, his Soul Siblings and his Senior staff. Amidst joy and tears  
on all sides, he had told them all over and over how much they meant to him.

After leaving Sickbay he had headed to the Cargo Bay to see the rest of his crew and there had been   
more joy and tears on everyone's side.

He had then spoken to Admiral Pike, amidst still more joy and tears.

After that he'd spent several more hours in conference with Pike, Morrick and the rest of Starfleet   
Command about the Klingon attack. No joy or tears that time.

Kor's attack hadn't been sanctioned by the Empire, but it was definitely causing ripples, the effects   
of which nobody could yet guess. There was also a lot of concern about the new _Nerada_ based ships   
that the Klingons had developed, not to mention the Romulans' response to it.

And then of course there was the intervention of the mysterious Q.

The knowledge of immensely powerful extra-dimensional beings such as the Q Continuum, as well   
as the Prophets and the Pah-wraiths, whatever _they_ were, had caused a _bit_ of consternation.

At such a time of uncertainty several Admirals had once more put forth the idea of further militarizing   
Starfleet. Others were talking about increasing diplomatic moves. Both sides advocated building and   
sending out ever more and advanced ships.

Admiral Jones had been unable to resist putting in his two cents. _"This Q said that you're important, Kirk._  
I agree. And I'm sure that this attack, if nothing else, has proven how important it is that you get a large   
ship as soon as possible."

A large ship.

Kirk didn't think that any ship, however large, would ever take the place of the _Saratoga_ in his heart.   
As far as he was concerned that tiny vessel had been the true Flagship and always would be.

He let out a deep sigh. Jones was right though; it was important that he get to the _Endeavor_ as soon   
as possible. Events in the galaxy were shifting and as Q has said, he had a tendency to be in the thick   
of things. Like it or not he was a high profile Captain and someone who was high profile was a very   
tempting target to many. Like it or not a high profile Captain needed to have a large, powerful ship.   
Like it or not James T. Kirk's days of being in command of a small research vessel were a thing of the past.

He also knew something else, something that he had told the Admiralty. In the wake of what had happened   
there was a great deal of uncertainty in Starfleet. At such a time it was more important than ever that Starfleet   
continue to focus on its true mission: to seek out and explore. And above all, to hold on to the spirit opposite   
of uncertainty and fear: Hope.

So although part of him would always mourn the _Saratoga_ , another part was looking forward to the _Endeavor_.  
He intended to be at the forefront of any overtures made to the Klingons and especially in exploration.  
And wherever he would went, he would go boldly.

For now though, there was another piece of unresolved business.

* * *

_Enterprise Bridge_

"Ensign Chekov," Morrick said quietly.

Chekov looked up from where he was running more calculations. "Yes, Captain?"

"Captain Kirk would like to speak with you."


	31. Chekov

_Enterprise Briefing Room_  
_4:00 PM_

"Captain Kirk?" Chekov said softly as he entered the room.

Kirk turned from where he'd been facing the windows and nodded. "Ensign Chekov. Have a seat."

As the two men sat down, Chekov found himself tongue-tied. For seven years he had prayed for this chance.  
And now that the moment had finally arrived…

Kirk began. "I understand that you were the one who found me."

"It was your friends," Chekov said quickly; "Mr. Alyen and Mrs. L'Naym. They were the ones who-"

"I know. But _you_ were the one who found me and beamed me aboard." A slight smile. "I heard that they  
had to pry me out of your arms to take me to sickbay." He once again grew solemn. "I wanted to thank you."

Chekov felt himself cracking inside. For seven years he had thought of and rehearsed what he'd say if this  
moment came. But now…

Now only three simple words mattered.

"Keptin… " he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so, _so_ sorry." He felt the tears coming again and didn't bother  
trying to hold them back. He needed to show them and Captain Kirk needed to see them. "Not _a single day_  
has gone by that I haven't…"

Words failed him. "If I could go back…If I could change what…" He swallowed. "I'm sorry, Keptin. I know  
that I can never say it enough, but I'm sorry."

"I know you are, Chekov," Kirk said quietly. "And I forgive you."

* * *

_Enterprise Bridge_  
_5:00 PM_

Alpha shift ended and the Bridge crew prepared to leave as their replacements arrived.

"Commander Spock, Lieutenant Uhura and Lieutenant Sulu, please report to the Briefing Room,"  
Morrick announced. "Lieutenant Commander Scott is already on his way there. Captain Kirk has asked  
to speak to all of you."


	32. Forgiveness

_Enterprise Briefing Room  
5:03 PM_

The Senior staff entered the Briefing room to find a seated Captain Kirk and Ensign Chekov.

"Be seated, please," Kirk said quietly. "I've already spoken to Ensign Chekov. Now I need to speak to all of you.  
Please don't interrupt until I'm done."

After everyone was seated he was silent for several moments. "Seven years ago you hurt me more deeply  
than any person should be hurt," he began. "I know that you didn't intend it. I know that you didn't know  
the whole situation; that you didn't know that I'd been raped. I also know that if you'd known the truth you  
would have acted very differently."

His voice grew heavy. "What hurt me is that you didn't give me the chance to tell you what had happened.  
What hurt me is that when I tried to tell you, you turned me away." He paused again and his voice grew sadder.  
"I was your Captain and you were my Senior staff. I turned to you when I needed help and you turned your  
backs on me. That’s the simple truth."

He lowered his gaze. "There's something that all of you need to know about me- I spent most of my life alone.  
I realize that may surprise you to know." He frowned and his words grew slightly bitter. "I was, after all, the  
famous _Kelvin_ Child. The son of the heroic George Kirk. Heir to a legend."

His frown deepened. "Consider me a lesson in the vast difference between legend and reality. The reality  
is that I was _nobody's_ son. I was an orphan in every sense of the word. My father died even as I was being  
born. My mother never recovered from losing him and to her I was a constant reminder of what she'd lost.   
My uncle despised me. My brother walked away and left me behind. I spent most of my life neglected,   
abandoned and alone.

"And it wasn't just at home. Even at Starfleet everyone looked at me and saw George Kirk's son. The tragic  
hero's son. They didn't see _me_ at all."

He snorted. "Not that I made it easy. I only showed people what I wanted them to see: Tough guy Kirk.  
Cocky Cadet Kirk. Famous Poster Boy Captain Kirk. But deep down…I was lonely."

His voice once again grew quiet. " _That_ was why I flirted with anything in a skirt…so that I could be with  
someone, _connect_ with someone if only for a brief time. I was lonely and I thought that sleeping around  
would give  me what I needed. I didn't allow any of those connections to go to any real depth because I   
was afraid. I had been hurt by my family and I didn't want to be hurt by others. But deep down I was lonely,   
empty and longing to be filled. 

"When I became Captain things finally seemed to turn around." He smiled slightly. "I fell in love with  
the _Enterprise_ the first time I saw her. And then working with all of you, us defeating Nero together…  
Going through something like that connects people.

"Deep down I thought that maybe I could finally stop being alone. I thought that with all of you I could  
finally have something _real_. I thought that I could finally have what I'd never really had before…a family."

He sighed. "That was how I saw all of you because that was what I needed. What I didn't take into  
account was that you didn't see me the same way. How could you really? None of you really knew me.  
Most of you only knew me as the cocky cadet who'd cheated on the _Kobayashi Maru._ "

He raised an eyebrow. "Some of you didn't even _like_ me. Not surprising. For years I'd put up the façade  
of Tough Guy Kirk." He looked at Uhura. "Some of you only knew the cocky womanizer who didn't know  
how to take a hint."

He looked at Spock. "Or the illogical, insubordinate Cadet who cheated on the _Kobayashi Maru_ _,_ snuck   
on to the _Enterprise_ after being grounded, emotionally compromised its Acting Captain and was promoted   
instead of him. 

"We were only together for two months, even less if one considers the time the _Enterprise_ was in drydock  
being repaired. None of us really knew each other. None of us had learned to look beneath the surface  
and all of us made assumptions. After Nero I looked at all of you and made assumptions. When I came back  
to the _Enterprise_ after being raped all of you made assumptions. _That_ was the root cause of the disaster  
that followed: Assumptions and misunderstandings."

He paused for a long time. "Not that there wasn't severe damage. When you turned me away you hurt  
me more deeply than you can imagine. For most of my life I had only shown Tough Guy Kirk. _Jim Kirk_ ,  
the real me, was almost never seen. I kept him hidden because I didn't want him to be hurt. But he… _I_ …  
was hurt that night in a way that I hope none of you ever know." He shuddered. "Rape is something  
more devastating than you can imagine. Something that _nobody_ should have to go through."

He closed his eyes as he remembered the pain of that time. "And when you turned your backs on me  
afterwards, you, the ones that I wanted to call family… it was as bad as being raped." His eyes moistened.  
"I had already been emotionally damaged from a lifetime of abandonment. And then when I was the  
_most_ wounded and vulnerable, when I needed help the _most_ …I was abandoned again. "

He drew a shuddered sigh. "It almost destroyed me," he whispered. "It left me scarred in ways that you  
can't imagine. It was months before I was fit for duty again and it took me years to fully heal. I _wouldn't_  
have healed without my real family: Bones, my Soul Siblings, Admiral Pike, Ambassador Spock and my  
crew."

He looked up again. "And the tragedy was that it happened not out of malice, but assumptions and  
misunderstandings. Not to mention _a lot_ of miscommunication. On _all_ of our parts."

He looked at Scott. "When you first made that comment to me in the transporter room, I could have told  
you right then what had happened. But I didn't."

He looked at Uhura. "When I came to the Bridge and you snapped at me, I could have told you what  
happened. But I didn't."

He turned his gaze on Spock. "On the Bridge, when I tried to tell all of you what had happened and you  
interrupted me, I could have told you to _shut up_ and listen to me because I had something important  
to say. But I didn't."

He paused. "Later when I came up to some of you and you made excuses, I could have _made_ you listen.  
I could have _ordered_ you to stop what you were doing and listen to me. Once again I didn't."

He sighed. "And you weren't the only ones who turned away. When you realized what you'd done, you right  
away came to me, trying to apologize. I didn't let you. When you reached out and tried to make amends,  
it was my turn to turn away. I could have forgiven you then, but I didn't. I _couldn't;_ I was too badly injured.  
The damage was simply too severe and would be for a long time."

He gazed steadily at each of them. "I know that you didn't intentionally hurt me. I know that you're sorry.  
But it doesn't change what happened or undo the damage. It's like someone driving under the influence  
causing an accident and injuring or killing someone. It was an accident, it wasn't done out of malice and  
the person who caused the accident is truly sorry. But it doesn't undo the damage or prevent the consequences  
to those involved. And what happened seven years ago was a _major_ car crash. I was badly injured and  
part of me died inside.

"You know what you did seven years ago. And I don't need to tell you that there're consequences; you've  
been living with them every day since. And you'll have to continue living with them-for the rest of your  
careers in Starfleet and probably for the rest of your lives." 

His expression now was both sad and kind. "I suffered, but so did you. I was injured in that car crash,  
but all of you were as well and you're still hurting now. I eventually healed and moved on, but from talking  
to Chekov and from simply looking at you, I can tell that that's something that all of you still need to do.

"Actions have consequences, but there has to be room for mercy and from what I've heard, you haven't    
gotten much of that from others over the last seven years."

There was determination in his eyes now. "There has to be room for mercy. There has to be room for  
forgiveness and seven years is a long time to hold a grudge and a very long time for people to be in pain.  
It's time for the pain to stop."

He took a deep breath. "I can never forget what you did to me. But I can and I do forgive."

He turned to a moist eyed Chief Engineer. "I forgive you, Scotty."

He turned to a teary eyed Chief of Communications. "I forgive you, Uhura."

He turned to the First Officer, whose face remained expressionless but whose eyes reflected his feelings.  
"I forgive you, Spock."

He turned to a trembling Chief Helmsman. "I forgive you, Sulu."

He turned to the sobbing Chief Navigator and smiled gently. "And I forgive you, Chekov."

He looked at all of them. "I forgive all of you."


	33. Aftermath

_6/9/2265_  
_Mess Hall_  
_2:00 AM_

Kirk made his way through the hallways toward one of the _Enterprise_ Mess Halls. After a few hours of talking  
to the _Enterprise_ crew, he had then spent the remainder of the evening seeing to the comfort of his crew while  
they awaited the arrival of the _Ptolmey_ and _Andaman_. He had also managed, at Filars and McCoy's insistence,   
to snatch a few hours of sleep in the cargo bay. He had awakened not long ago and after another brief discussion   
with Gamma shift's Helm on the status of the other ships' arrival, had decided to grab a quick bite.

As he made his way through the glistening corridors he quietly reflected. _I never thought I'd see these halls again._  
But here I am, back again. For seven years the tan hallways of the Saratoga and now once again the white of Enterprise  
and soon of the Endeavor. So many things full circle.

The Mess Hall was mostly deserted, although there were a couple of people having a very late night snack or drink.  
At one of the tables he was surprised to notice two familiar faces, Crewmen Alluri and Bautista. 

He noted the tired and tense expressions on both their faces and made his way over to them. "Hey, Crewman,"  
he asked softly. "Is it all right if I join you?"

"Captain," Alluri said, "Of course."

"Are you both alright?" Kirk asked as he seated himself.

Bautista nodded. "I couldn't sleep. Too much has happened and I'm still overwhelmed by it all. I wanted to move  
around a bit. Stretch my legs. Try to wrap my head around everything that's happened."

Kirk nodded. His crew had been through hell. They had been attacked, several injured, their Captain nearly killed  
and their ship destroyed.

So many times people focused only on the adventures, the battles and the adrenaline. But after the action one was  
left with the aftermath. And even the greatest victories often had unpleasant aftermaths.

No one had been killed in the attack, the enemy had been destroyed and their Captain miraculously returned.

But the _Saratoga,_ the ship that had been their home for years, had still been destroyed.

It would take time for everyone to process it all. Time to recover, come to terms and heal.

"I decided to go to the Mess and get something to drink," Bautista went on.

Alluri reached out and took her hand. "And I wasn't going to let her out of my sight."

Bautista looked around with a rueful look came over her face. "This ship is _huge._ How does one keep  
from getting lost?"

Kirk smiled gently. "One get's used to it I guess."

Bautista met his eyes and her own begin to moisten. "We're so glad you're back Captain," she whispered.  
She reached out and took both hiss hands. "When we thought you were dead _…_ And then when we all  
found out you were alive." 

Another shock for everyone. One moment they had all been grieving their Captain, believing him dead.  
The next moment he was suddenly back.

"It's good to _be_ back," he whispered as he gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “I know that most of you  
would be fine without me. But I’m not whole without all of you.”

He gently withdrew his hands and then smiled determined to lighten the mood slightly. "I understand  
that congratulations are an order."

Bautista glanced at her husband. "It still hasn't fully sunk in yet," she whispered.

"I'm still in shock," Alluri murmured. "But I'm happy though. When I found out I was going to be a father _…  
_ it was in the middle of the ship _…_ you Captain _…_ It was one of the worst moments but at the same time  
the happiest moment of my life."

"I hadn't really thought much about being a parent," Bautista admitted. "But knowing that there's a little  
life growing in me _…_ " She put her hand on her stomach. "In the middle of all this craziness a new life."  
She smiled. "And I'm glad." She managed a chuckle. I hope we'll be good parents."

Kirk grinned. "Well, if you're as good parents as you are shuttle techs, all three of you will do great."

Bautista frowned slightly. "Captain. This changes things, though. The _Endeavor…_ its not a family ship _.  
_ We were going to go with you and everyone else _…_ but now _…_ " 

"It's ok," Kirk said gently. "Others have left the _Saratoga_ before; ships always have people come and go.  
It's going to be different this time and quite a few crewmembers are going to be leaving too."  
_Including my Soul Siblings_. But we'll always be connected to each other, Carmen. We'll always be  
Saratogans, wherever we go."

Bautistia nodded. "We do know one thing though. Captain, you risked everything to save all of us.  
You _sacrificed yourself_ to save us. If it hadn't been for you _…_ our baby would be dead now. Dead before  
it even had the chance to be born. Thanks to you it will be." 

She glanced at her husband and back at Kirk. "Raju and I have talked and we've decided that we're going  
to name it after you. If its a boy he's James. If it's a girl she'll be Jane or Juanita."

Kirk's eyes widened. "I _…_ I'm honored," he whispered feeling his eyes moisten. "Just as I'm honored to call  
you my crewmates. And as I'm honored to have had the privilege of serving with you."

All three sat in silence for a moment, then Kirk stood up. "Let's head back," he suggested. "We've all been  
through a lot and we'll all need to sort it out. But we can best do that when we're all together."


	34. Take care

_Enterprise Cargo Bay_  
_4:00 AM_

Kirk was talking to Thelin when he received a comm from Morrick.

 _"Captain Kirk. We've arrived at the rendezvous coordinates. Captain Whitikers would like_ _with speak to you."_

 "On my way."

* * *

_Enterprise Bridge  
4:05 AM_

Captain Kirk watched as the face of Daniel Whitakers, Captain of the _U.S.S. Ptolemy_ , appeared.

Whitakers smiled. "Jim. It's good to see you."

Kirk smiled back at the middle aged gentleman. "It's good to see you too, Dan." He sighed.  
"I wish it could have been under happier circumstances. We seem to have a knack for coming  
together during disasters."

"We do, don't we?" Whitakers responded.

The two of them had first met during Stardate 2260.10.16. That had been a very rough time for  
the _Saratoga._ A few weeks before, she and the _U.S.S. Cygnus_ had been studying an L class planet.  
A joint away team had discovered unusual ores which, unknown to them contained a deadly bacteria.  
For the next seven days a pandemic had swept through both crews. A cure was eventually discovered,  
but not before nine had died on the _Cygnus_ and five on the _Saratoga._

Afterwards Kirk had taken the _Saratoga_ to shore leave on Brinfye II so that the crew could grieve  
and recover from their losses. They had wound up needing to cut their leave short. The _U.S.S. Reliant_  
had been destroyed in an explosion, but several of her crew had managed to make it to escape pods.  
The _Saratoga_ and three other ships in the sector had been sent on a search and rescue mission  
to find as many escape pods as possible. 

One of those ships had been the _Ptolemy_ and the two Captains had formed a friendship.

One of the reasons the two had bonded was due to the similarity of their ships. The _Saratoga_ had been  
the oldest of her class and the _Ptolemy_ the first of hers. The _Satatoga_  a small research vessel and the  
_Ptolemy_ a tug/transport. They were both two types of ships that normally didn't get much notice,  
but both Captains were keenly aware of their true worth.

 _"Tugs and transports are the backbone of Starfleet,_ " Whitaker was fond of saying. _"Without us carrying_  
personnel and supplies there would be no deep space exploration, no supplies, no bases, no ships,  
no Starfleet."

"But I'd say there's a big cause for celebration," Whitakers said gently. "Starfleet lost a good ship, but her  
crew is safe and sound."

"Amen to that, Dan," Kirk agreed with a smile. "Amen to that."

"Let's see what we can do about getting her back home. The _Ptolemy_ transports cargo, this will be one  
of the most precious loads she's carried."

* * *

 

_Ptolemy Corridors  
2:45 PM_

Since the arrival of the _Ptolemy,_ both Captains had been busy seeing to the transfer of the _Saratoga_ crew  
and arranging who would stay where. At 400 meters in length, _Ptolemy_ class tugs were smaller than most  
ships in the Fleet. Whitaker normally scoffed whenever someone mentioned that. _"Forget big and flashy.  
Give me steady and reliable any day."_

This time, however, he couldn't help but wish his ship was a little bigger.

"It's a pity we don't have a transport container with us," he said as he walked the hallways besides Kirk.  
_Ptolemy_ class ships normally carried their loads in detachable transport containers, but the _Ptolemy_ ,  
currently in between assignments didn't have one. "We used our last one to drop off supplies and 200  
personnel at Outpost 84. If we had kept it afterwards it would have been more than enough to accommodate  
all of you without needing to put anyone in cargo bays."

"Don't worry about it, Dan," Kirk replied. "When the _Andaman_ gets here, between the two of you it will  
be more than enough for us." He raised an eyebrow. "There _are_ benefits to having a small ship: the crew  
takes up less space." He managed a rueful chuckle. "Wouldn't things have been a mess if you had needed  
to transport the _Enterprise_ crew?"

Whitaker chuckled. "That would have been a _bit_ of a squeeze."

An announcement came over the Comm.

" _Captain Whitaker. The USS Andaman has arrived. They're requesting to speak to both you and Captain Kirk."_

 "We're on our way."

* * *

  _Ptolemy Bridge 2:50PM_

Kirk gazed at the viewscreen at the dark skinned face of Terzel Ren, Captain of the _U.S.S. Andaman_.

The middle aged Trill nodded. “Captain Kirk. It's good to see you well." He smiled, "Young Man."

Kirk smiled back. "It's good to see you again. Old Man."

The Captains had struck up a friendship four years previously when both of their ships had been on  
a joint mission: charting the vast, recently discovered Golee Cluster. During that time the two men  
had decided to go on shuttle mission together.

What had only been intended to be a two hour excursion had nearly turned fatal when their shuttle  
had been caught in unexpected turbulence, which caused a massive power surge in the controls  
which had blasted Terzel. In the process of trying to stabilize him, Kirk had learned that the Trill  
were a joined species and that Terzel was the 12th host of the ancient Ren symbiont.

Since then the two had remained close and jokingly referred to each other as either Young Man  
or Old Man. A fact which puzzled those who didn't know about symbionts and greatly amused  
the two of them since Ren was both only 47 years old and at the same time 643.

Ren's face grew solemn. "These past few days have been a time of extremes, my young friend.  
First we were told that your ship had been destroyed, and that you had been killed, although your  
crew was safe. And then we received the welcome news that you were in fact alive."

Kirk nodded. "It's been a lot for everyone to take in. But we'll get through this."

"Of that I have no doubt." The Trill smiled. "Let's get the rest of your people onboard. You saved  
my life once, the least I can do is help get you and your crew home."

* * *

 _Andaman Bridge_  
_4:25 PM_

Kirk stood on the bridge of the _Andaman._ Most of his crew and half the Senior staff would be traveling  
on the _Ptolemy._ Familiesand those who had been injured would travel on the _Andaman._ He had felt that   
being on another _Delphis_ class ship would give them a much needed sense of familiarity during   
the week-long trip home.

Many of them would be staying in guest quarters and several of the _Ptolemy_ and _Andaman_ crew  
had volunteered to double up and, in some cases, triple up, so that the Saratogans could borrow  
their quarters.

During the trip the two ships would have daily four hour breaks where they would drop out of warp  
and come to a stop, enabling crews to shuttle or beam back and forth to visit.

After a few hours of arrangements and preparations, all three Captains had decided that it was time  
for them to depart. After receiving a nod from Ren, Kirk quietly asked the _Andaman's_ Chief of  
Communications to hail the _Enterprise_.

"Captain Morrick," he said when the other Captain appeared on the viewscreen. "We're ready to get  
underway. To you and to the crew of the _Enterprise_ I owe my thanks.

Morrick nodded. "We’re glad that we were able to be of service, Captain Kirk. Take care."

Kirk nodded and then gazed behind Morrick to the Senior staff of the _Enterprise._ "Take care," he said softly.


	35. Final Flight

_6/15/2265_  
_Shuttebay of the U.S.S.  
Ptolemy Earth Spacedock_

Kirk looked solemnly at his gathered crew. The _Andaman_ and the _Ptolemy_ had both docked at Spacedock  
and now his crew were preparing to go to the surface. They could have beamed down, but Kirk had decided  
on something much more symbolic; each of them would ride in the _Saratoga's_ shuttles which had been docked  
in the _Ptolemy's_ hangars. Their old ship would carry them the last portion of their journey via her shuttles.

One final flight to bring her crew home.

There was another reason Kirk had decided on this. During the trip back to Earth half of his crew had been  
on the _Ptolemy_ and the other on the _Andaman_. When they got back to the surface there would be endless  
meetings, debriefings and many reassignments. He wanted them all together one last time.

He also knew that Starfleet Command was planning a major reception for him, during which they would  
formally announce his acceptance of the _U.S.S. Endeavor._ He wanted this last moment as Captain of the  
_Saratoga_ and for it to be solely with his crew _._

"I want all of you to know that serving as your Captain has been the greatest honor of my life," he began.  
"No Captain could ask for more than what this crew has given and no Captain could ask for better friends."

He paused. "What I especially treasured though, was the sure knowledge that you would always be there  
for each other in matters both professional and personal. When I first came on board the _Saratoga,_ I could  
tell that this was a crew that would always have both mine and each other's backs. And in the six years that  
I've served with you, you've proven me right again and again. There has never been a Captain as proud  
of his crew as me."

He paused again, longer this time. "And on an even more personal note; there has never been a Captain  
as _grateful_ to his crew as me. When I first came to you six years ago, I was bitter, disillusioned and bleeding  
from every pore. You taught me to love life again. You made me whole again. And for that you all have  
my undying gratitude."

He struggled to contain his emotions. "You're far more than just my crew, you're _my family;_ each and every   
one of you, from my First Officer, to the newest enlisted Crewman. To the oldest civilian personnel..."   
he glanced at Alluri and Bautista, "to the youngest child. That is a gift that is beyond all price. I'll always   
be grateful to all of you for that. I'll always _love_ all of you for that.

"A lot of things are going to change when we get home and there will be a lot of goodbyes. But wherever   
you end up in the future, whomever your commanding officers are in the years to come, I know that every   
single one of you will be the same steadfast crewmembers for them that you were for me. And whoever   
gets will be lucky. Blessed even. I also know that even though some of us will be apart, we will always   
be connected. We were Saratogans and that bond will always remain."

He looked down at what he held in his hands and recalled the conversation when Thelin had first handed   
it to him while aboard the _Enterprise._

_"They found this in the escape pod with you."_

_"Must have been one last gift from Q. I guess there'll be something for the Fleet Museum after all."_

He solemnly lifted up the _Saratoga's_ Dedication Plaque before the crew. "And part of the _Saratoga_ will   
always remain as well. She was more than just a ship and far more than an assemblage of bulkheads.  
She was our home and part of our family. She saw many of our children born and saw all of them grow up.  
She kept us together, she nurtured us and she carried us though both happy times and terrible ones.

"She carried us across thousands of light years of space, around the entire Federation and into unknown  
territory, boldly going where no other ship had ever gone. She was the last of the Three Musketeers  
and she fell as a true warrior, defending her family to the end. She was the smallest ship in the Fleet,  
but she was the true Flagship."

 Kirk paused. "She's gone now but she will live on as a part of us. We are her legacy And all of us will   
be family, still Saratogans, no matter where we go."

* * *

 _Captain's Log_  
_Stardate 2265.6.15_

_This will be my final log entry as Captain of the USS Saratoga. I will soon be officially relieved_   
_of that position and appointed Captain of the USS Endeavor. She won't be ready to launch_   
_for another three months, but I will officially be her Captain._

_I've seen the specs of the Endeavor and know her to be an impressive ship but I know that part_   
_of me will always miss the Saratoga and no matter how much I may come to care for, even love_   
_the Endeavor, she will never take the Saratoga's place in my heart. The Endeavor is a vast, beautiful_   
_Silver Lady, but I will always miss my small, brave-hearted Dolphin._

_But what I told the crew is true, just as we will always be a part of each other, the Saratoga will  
always_ _be a part of us a_ _nd I'm determined to carry always the lessons that I learned from her._   


_U_ _nder my Captaincy,_ _the name Saratoga came to be synonymous with taking a closer look.  
Well ,that is what the_ _Endeavor is going to do. She's designed to be an Explorer, but under my  
command she's going_ _to be an apprentice Saratoga. She will boldly go where no one has gone  
before, but she will_ _always take the time to take a closer look._

_James T. Kirk_

* * *

 

 _Epilogue_  
_Stardate 2265.9.24_

 _Space: the Final Frontier._  
_These are the voyages of the Starship Endeavor._  
_Its Five Year Mission: to explore and study strange new worlds._  
_To seek out new life and to expand our knowledge._  
_To boldly go where no one has gone before and to take a closer look._

END


End file.
